Tag Archives: Sex

About Some Hard Truth!

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A young girl, gets influenced somehow and thinks it’s ok to have a boyfriend she talks with every other minute on phone, texts goodnight, go out for lunch dates, gets her pretty gifts on Valentine’s and take selfies and post on Instagram now and then.

He’s so nice to her and supports her decision of pursuing purity, he says it’s fabulous. Uhhhwww….he’s so cute right?
He invites her over to his place and even introduces her to his friends and family as his girl. You know, Steve Harvey says that if he introduces you to his people as a friend, it stays there, but a guy who is serious about you will let them know you are his girl. He did that, for the win!

He has time to listen to all her tales from how she finished her rice dish by picking a grain after the other to how she went to the salon to fix her weave and how she squabbled over home chores with her younger sister. He listens to all that crap! The bottom line is that he is too sweet to be true.

After some time, he knows how much she is used to him and how she will hardly turn him down when he asks for something. No he won’t ask for sex, he knows she’s keeping it for marriage. So he asks for a kiss, after all it’s just a kiss, not sex. She allows him to cus she too, she feels like if she doesn’t agree, she isn’t being fair to someone who has agreed not to have sex with her until marriage. He says he misses her so he asks for a nude picture. First, she cringes and thinks it’s crazy but he manages to convince her and reminds her how he’s turned celibate all because of his love for her and allowing him to see her nakedness will cool tempers down. Then she thinks about it then finally agrees with him and want to avoid fights so…. 📷Kr333!!!

If she was able to send a nude picture, foreplay and all…what is sex that they can’t have? Save a few girls who are determined to dismiss such offers and ultimately end the so called relationship. It’s pathetic to imagine.

Truth is, these days there are only a handful of very good guys left. The rest are scattered everywhere on the face of this planet. They have followed us to church because nowadays the church is the new arena for displaying new outfits and high heels and snap chatting while in church.
If then, why won’t they come and also look cool so they can lure them?

All these happen so that we become vigilant and wide-eyed so we are not swayed and deceived.
Ladies, we owe ourselves the honor of being Christ’s bride in all diligence until he sends a man after His heart in whom He is well pleased to present us back to Himself without wrinkles nor blemish.

Perhaps you didn’t know but now you know. Some guys are walking about as the devil’s incarnate searching for their next victim to deceive and have their way with and leave them wrecked. Don’t be their next victim by falling for their schemes. Don’t let it happen to you, you may not be able to pick up the pieces and put them back together. In the beginning, it looks harmless and cool. Anything that seems cool without the Jesus factor is no cool, it’s destruction. Let Jesus be your closest friend, He will lead you into all truth!

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” Matthew 7:6
Ps: To the great guys doing it God’s way, it’s not old fashioned, keep it real!!! God bless you for reading.

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman

The Writer, Jackie.

The Writer, Jackie.

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Broken For A Purpose: Broken To Be Built.

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I still remember when my heart got broken. Yes that was me and girl, trust me when I say broken. I mean how could the guy who professed to love me to the moon and back walk out on me with no reason barely 6 months into the relationship? (I felt my world had crushed, well it did.) He was like an angel from the beginning and the last time I checked angels do not hurt. So how come? How naïve?

Sadly in midday of March, little did I know that all the beautiful times, constant care and attention we shared would one day come to an end. What worsened the matter was that he walked out without an explanation. He left too many questions on my mind I could not find answers to. I mean everything was ok between us. He wasn’t like the other guys who felt abstaining from sex till marriage was primitive.

As a matter of fact, he commended me for upholding my values. He supported my dreams and encouraged me towards attaining my goals. So what the hell had gone wrong with my prince charming? I needed answers yet I couldn’t find any. I couldn’t understand why everything that seemed so perfect all of a sudden would mean nothing at all.

At first I thought it was a joke. But the calls stopped coming and the messages stopped flooding my inbox. It was real. I cried weeks on end, I listened to music I felt was soothing, no hugs were comforting and no words of motivation were motivating enough. All my writings were about him and the bitter experience. I was in the doldrums. Nothing ever hurt so badly like that.

I felt God had forsaken me. I didn’t even think I will be writing this today, no. Not until that conference in May, the Rhema Conference. After the service, I received the call that changed my life. The man of God told me God’s eyes are on me and that I should surrender all to him. That I couldn’t make it on my own. And that, I should no longer fret about what didn’t matter. And that was all the inspiration I needed. My first love got me! Shoop a doop Jackie!

There was a transformation. There was an urgency to draw closer to God. I run back into my heavenly father’s arms for his comfort. I had left him for so long chasing a mortal who could offer me nothing but heartbreak. He was more than ready to receive me once I acknowledged his existence. He knew I was going to be hurt but I guess he wanted me to go through the remnants of a broken heart.

Now I yearned to have a personal relationship with God. I studied the Bible as a priority. I prayed and cried to God for recuperation. He healed me and made me better. I emerged from the heartbreak with a scar which reminds me everyday on thriving towards becoming the phenomenal woman that God made me to be. I have become stronger and wiser by grace of God. Yet again, I have learned to follow God’s wisdom and forgiveness. I learned to have faith in God to lead me to someone in His timing.

Today, I can say confidently that I was broken but God is using my brokenness to build other people who find themselves in the position i was some years ago, which is all that this blog is about.

So thank you for always stopping by to read when there is something new up here, i hope God helps you to put the pieces in your life together so you can have an amazing story to tell and heal the world.
Sometimes, just sometimes, it’s darkest before the dawn!
Light and Love!

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman

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All Men Aren’t The Same

Photo Credit: GospelTown All Stars

Photo Credit: GospelTown All Stars

I’ll go straight to the point. You see, not all men are the same.
Yes! I admit we live in a sex saturated and sin filled world but I also believe strongly that there are some guys who strive daily to become like Christ.

Tell you what! Just as you have purposed in your heart never to have sex before marriage, so there is, this guy next door who is even more determined.
Men, just like women, are human beings who have their shortcomings. Don’t dwell on their flaws and place the “you men are all the same” tag on all of them.
Trust me:

There are some who are patient enough to wait until marriage before they think of sleeping with you because if they truly love you, they understand that love is patient and patient enough to wait until “I do” to draw your panties down.

There are real good guys who are bent on helping you become a better Christian. They will pray with and for you and will be able to accommodate you in spirit no matter how long by God’s grace.

There are great guys out there who won’t persuade you to sleep with them and go about the next day telling people how good or bad you are in bed.

Thank God for the brethren out there who don’t speak to their moms and sisters begrudgingly and so they won’t do that to you and gentlemen who will open the car door and pull out the chair for you to sit at dinner.

Need I say that they arent of style too? They also wear denim jeans and d-boots. Uhh!! 21st Century style 😂😂😂

You know why? Because they consider you not just a woman but as Christ’s bride with a responsibility to love and cherish you and present you without any wrinkle and blemish back to Him. Eph 5:25-27
Perhaps, you fell into bad hands because of some traits you exhibited. Like majic, you attracted eachother automatically. I’m just saying…

But now you know better. “Don’t give your pearls to pigs, they will trample over it and turn and tear you into pieces…” Math 7:6
I dedicate this to you who think all men are awfully the same. Filter your mind, brace the reality. That guy has been seeking your attention for long, about time you looked in his direction. Don’t be hard hearted, you could be missing out on a great and potential spouse.
And who says you don’t need a man? No one will tell you, you do, when you  have to be cleaning the garage, moving and carrying huge stuff all by yourself!

Until you find them and they find you, cheers to living like a “Ruth” who wants to be served with a “Boaz”. 😉
Shouts to all the real guys doing it God’s way✌🏾️

Light and Love,
Jackie Hanson.

Disclaimer⚠️ I am responsible for what I write on per my beliefs. You are responsible for how you interpret and understand.

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Saved But Struggling Sexual Sin?

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These days, the world makes it look like, once you enter a relationship it is a license for sex to happen by all means. Or once you say you are in a relationship, chai! It is happening! Ah!!
Trust me, there are real young people out there who have vowed to keep themselves undefiled until marriage, both guys and ladies.
So don’t be amazed when those accusers come your way and don’t believe that you can still walk in purity this day. Because they’re blinded by sexual immorality, they think everyone else is like them.

However, the fact that you’re saved doesn’t guarantee you freedom over sexual sin. If not, after altar call and confessing Jesus as Lord and personal savior, we will sit down with hands folded and wait to go to Heaven but no. Salvation is a daily process. (See Philippians 2:12, Jude 1:3)
In fact, constantly, the flesh battles with its desires to yield to sexual sin. That’s why we need to mature in the fruit of self control, in endurance, and even, long suffering.

I thought I should stop by and remind you that been saved is only a tip of the ice -berg. You may be saved, yes, but you still live in the flesh and that’s more reason for you to strive and thrive that lust doesn’t consume you.

In your godly relationship, you both want to flee fornication but it doesn’t happen on a silver platter. So;

*Pray for grace and strength each day to continue victoriously on the path you’ve chosen. Sometimes it may look so difficult and impossible but know this, the reward of waiting is over the top, so keep on.

*Consider the places you go to sometimes . Some of the places you hang out together may expose and awaken love. (You know better)
To help you keep your vow to yourselves and to God, spare yourself going to places that may possibly arouse your feelings and lead you both into temptation.

*What kind of conversations do you engage in with your partner? Watch it carefully so you are not tempted to act out your conversation. If you can, I admonish that you keep your conversations sane and holistic. (See Ephesians 4:29)

Sexual sin doesn’t just happen to us. The more we feed it, the more ravenous and perversely diverse it becomes. And the more socially acceptable it becomes, the more it steals, kills, and destroys our lives. We have been saved and bought at a price. We need not let sexual sin ruin this price we have. So, at all costs, we must fight and flee it lest it make us a prisoner of war (1 Corinthians 6:18; 1 Peter 2:11). Some of you say, we can’t be perfect, granted. But in our imperfections, let us thrive to live like Christ.

I wish you a lifetime of grace in your pursuit of holiness . On your wedding day, the hosts of witnesses gathered should be able to say, “we believe in our spirits that God’s hands is in this and it will be forever.”

Some dating folks need to see this message, kindly share it with them. Thanks.

Light and Love,
The Khayil Woman💝

DISCLAIMER⚠️ “I am responsible for the themes I write on per my beliefs. You are responsible for how you understand and interpret it.”

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So You Think You Can Change Him?

Whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin.

Whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin.

Many young ladies in church today, for the fear of being lonely or single are ”dating” guys who do not share their values of purity. It’s been said that girls like bad boys and the meaning I derive from this, are boys who go to church alright but have not been saved and think that having sex before marriage is the coolest and latest trend. Purity is like dead news to their ears.

You may have fallen prey to this before where you won’t compromise on your purity yet because you wanted to be flattered by love and receive the affirmation of people like, “hey you know what’s up” or for them not to say you’re “chrife”, you get into a relationship with a boy who goes to church alright, his views on purity and yours are contrasting but you have hopes of changing him to buy into your idea forgetting that only God can change his mind.

To those of us who are not well rooted in the faith, this is a dangerous ground to tread. At the beginning of the relationship, he will assure you he won’t disturb you with sex here and there. You will be blinded by love to feel that hugging, kissing, fondling, fore play etc. are normal because physically, you are not having sexual intercourse and you think, that makes you pure. Hello! Being a virgin and being pure are two different things. Fine, you may be a virgin but your purity has been stained with the doing of all those things. Pray for forgiveness.

Now back to the reason why I’m writing this note. Agreeing to a guy who doesn’t believe your beliefs or shares your values is a deadly decision. He may have said he will change but not all those who go to the hospital are sick and so it is with all the people we see in church go because of Jesus. He may be fine and oh… ojacious too but watch out for wolves in sheep skin. You can’t change him only God can. Step aside and let God work on him without your love interruptions.
If you really love him like you say, simply step aside.

Of course there are those guys who think chastity is old fashioned and no amount of words will ever change their minds. They are not your nut to crack, leave them to God. Someone is cringing and saying that, the real dudes in church don’t look cool and they wear baggies and plenty chains allover in 2016 but the ‘bad guys” are the ones that know what’s up.
Ok! Be reminded, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14  
Dear sister, being single is a phase that every happily married person once went through. If you think it sucks, then I’m sorry but you need it to prepare you for the next stage so it’s essential.
Don’t agree to date a guy with hopes that you can influence him to wait until marriage before sex. (ha! It’s even ridiculous to them)

Focus on you. Delight in doing what pleases God and in His own acceptable time, He will bring you someone who won’t bother you and drag you into sexual sin. If you rush and go ahead of Him confident that you can change this guy in question, you may not get out of the relationship as you went. Plus, whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin. It’s time to have a self-check! THE END!

Remain blessed. #EM16
I’d love to hear from you. Share your comments with me.

Signed:Jackie Hanson
😍😍

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