Tag Archives: patience

Some Lessons Are Learnt The Hard Way; My Story


You’ve got to read this… 😎

At some point in my life, I was chasing a guy I didn’t even realize I was chasing. I was overwhelmed and charmed by his personality. He was my “perfect kind of guy” and a Christian brother. I wanted to have a relationship beyond friendship with him so I did everything for him to notice me like being at places he was going to be etc… He was already my friend but he didn’t give me the kind of attention I wanted him to give me and unknown to him, I felt pained. I would text him, call him and spend long hours on the phone with him. When I had problems with my spiritual life I would take it to him and he helped me get back on track. To me, he posed as the most suitable husband and it made me practically shut my eyes and ears to prospective suitors, It was him or no other. I didn’t care how long it was going to take me. I comforted myself, it’s God’s way of telling me to wait for His appointed time. I fasted. I prayed.
Weeks turned to months, months to years and still, he never popped the question. Eventually he changed towards me by not answering my calls and would reluctantly reply my messages and it was disappointing.
Perhaps, he knew how I felt about him and decided to guard himself by deliberately cutting ties with me. I wasn’t ready to disclose to him how I felt, it would stain my ego. I suffered silently.

I opened up to my mom and she counselled that it would be better I forget about Him, focus on building my career, develop myself and above all, trust God to send me someone in His own timing. Even though I had genuine intentions, I had to learn to trust God’s perfect time.
Thinking about the whole thing all over, I realized that it was God’s way at work in my life. It’s often being said that the best things come to those who wait.
From my story, I learnt that if God gave me what I was praying and fasting for, the guy would have taken God’s place and will practically become an idol in my life. Or the worst case scenario, we would have compromised on our purity and sin against God. God is never late and He assures that we will be victorious when we wait. So to prevent future heartbreaks, it is advisable to cut every tie with him meaning that I desist calling, texting and basically avoid anything that will leave his memories on my mind which I can’t help.

It’s ok to be friends with a brother in the faith but be careful not to translate some of their actions into other things that won’t augur well for your emotions.
Guys, don’t lead the sister on when you know you don’t have any plan of settling down with her. If it requires that you break the friendship with her, please do. You’ll only be saving her from getting disappointed.

Ladies, know your worth. You are to be chased after and not the other way. Make a conscious effort of controlling your emotions. The least thing you want to do is break your own heart when the guy in question is happily enjoying his life. Use this time to become a better woman physically, spiritually and emotionally. I know how hard it can get but the earlier you console yourself and move on, the better.

Today may not make sense but tomorrow will answer yesterday’s pain, discomfort and disappointment.
“Value doesn’t beg, Faith doesn’t worry” – Cornelius Lindsey.

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman.



No one likes to be rejected. Ughh!!! The word alone stings. Everyone at some point in their lives have experienced rejection in one way or the other. Need I mention how heart breaking the experience is, especially when you put in your heart, works, ideas and it’s thrown in the bin in your face, hmm. It’s never a good thing to experience at least at the time.  

My news editor after journalism school, a few times threw my work in the bin and asked me to go write it all again. It was so disgusting and very mean of him, but anytime I let go of the fury and concentrated and re-wrote the article, it came out better.

Most times, we fail to grasp the positive impact it’s meant to have on us but dwell on the negative. Because every statement of rejection is fashioned to teach us and expose us to greater opportunities. We will miss it if we spend the rest of lives busily licking old wounds and crying over spilt milk. Here are 5 reasons why rejection is good to us as Christians:

*God has the best plans: If you can imprint this on the tablet of your heart, you won’t fret when you are rejected from the job, love interest etc… At that point in time when you pursue that desire, you lose yourself into thinking, that particular project is the best thing that can ever happen to you. But when the unfortunate happens, be reminded that He who created you knows you and has plans that will prosper you and give you an expected end. Chill!  

*It teaches you a lesson on patience and endurance: Once you are rejected, patience as a virtue comes whispering in your ears to wait on God for His acceptable year when you can have the best package He has for you. If you fail to appreciate the lesson of patience and endurance, you will go back and you will be rejected time and time again. It’s out of waiting that our strength is renewed. Take time to heal the wound, trust God and wait on Him. Wait, wait, wait!  

*It’s a challenge for you to become a better person: Consider rejection as an avenue for you to improve and become a better person. Where it requires skills, personal grooming, communication skills etc… let it be an inspiration for you to simply become better! Spend time, prepare and invest into yourself then wait for the next shift in your life. No one or company would reject a good material. Be better than you used to be

*It gives you full proof that God will give you good and better than whatever you lost: Take a moment and reminisce. If you are true to yourself, you’ll realize that every time you thought you had lost something good, your come-back was way greater and bigger. If God did it once, He will do it again. Simply, trust!  

*It helps you to have empathy on others: No experience is wasted. Rejection teaches you to be empathic towards other people. So that next time when you are tried to be mean towards someone, you know what it feels like to go through that kind of suffering. Rejection helps us to be compassionate.  

Joseph was rejected by his brothers and sold into slavery, he went through too many trials yet God used those trials to prepare him to become the prime minister of Egypt. God always has the master plan. Today you may be rejected, but it won’t always be like this. Besides, rejection shouldn’t be labelled as something that killed you. When it hits you, rise up, dust yourself and move on. One day you’ll look back at all the no’s and disappointments you have had in your life and you will be so thankful that you were rejected.  Don’t ever give up!
I’d love to hear from you how rejection has helped you in your lifetime. Kindly share your experiences with me..

Light and Love,


Faith Over Desperation


I gave my valued fabric to a tailor to fix for me. I got there on the day he promised me to pick them up and to my utter dismay he had messed them up completely. He manhandled them and didn’t do them the way I wanted. It was totally beyond repair and I got so angry at him, as if he cared… I paid for the mess.  
But why did I give them to him? I got  desperate waiting for my seamstress who never seemed to be on time though she had promised. Now I’m sitting here with no dress to wear to the event and oh my dear fabric is destroyed beyond alteration. If I had being still and waited patiently for my seamstress to come, I won’t be sitting here disappointed and bitter like a lost chicken. You know that feeling when a tailor messes you up?

So you promised God to honour Him with your body and soul in purity. You think you are growing, your mates are marrying and you don‘t even have a boyfriend. You are desperate and questioning God and praying and crying but God seems silent as though He hasn’t heard or seen what’s going on.  
You get tired of waiting and give up. You meet this guy, he have his way with you and leaves you broken without a ring. What now?

This is how we become when waiting on God. When we wait on God for quite a long time and we don’t see its fruits, it’s normal we get desperate along the way. But God is not moved by desperation. He’s moved by faith.

Sometimes in desperation we make deadly decisions only for us to learn a lesson of trusting in Him. Sometimes God keeps silent in our desperation to teach us to trust in Him because they that trust in the Lord, shall renew their strength, they shall run and not get weary and they shall walk and not faint”

God is saying, next time when I ask you to wait you learn to trust and wait. God denies us some things because what may seem good to us, in the end, won’t be good for us. Let’s learn to thank God for closed doors, anyway.
If you have decided to honour God and flee sexual immorality, chill and go through the process. No one promised the journey will be smooth and getting desperate sometimes is one of the few challenges you would face but if you are able to hold on to faith in God, your end will be glorious.

In waiting our strength is renewed, our faith is nurtured, God takes us through the heat of refining and making process but the heat doesn’t burn us. Instead, they produce us much better and beautiful.

You have come too far to give in to someone who doesn’t even know his left from right to manhandle and leave you broken and helpless. If you get desperate, tired of waiting and fall into the hands of someone God didn’t intend you to be with, don’t trust Him to keep it together. It will fall on the rocks!

Look back on how far you’ve come on pursuing purity, focus on the prize and continue honouring God. It may not seem tangible noe but God saves the best for those who trust and obey. The weeping, loneliness may endure for the night but joy shall come in the morning. Hang in there! Hold onto faith! Your best is yet to come! Just believe…!

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman



20160424105038589God’s faithfulness overwhelms me. I know this isn’t the first time you’re hearing this yet you still may haven’t experienced the hand of God in your life. But why?

Let me draw your attention to this scripture, Psalm 84:11, it says, God will not withhold anything good from those who walk uprightly. Meditate on this scripture and check yourself and see whether you are tune in with God’s word. I’m sorry but don’t live a reckless life and expect to see the hand of God in your life. Observe His commandments and watch Him perform your miracle. If you keep doing the very things he warns us against, then you will not taste of His goodness.
Change your ways!

However, if you have a relationship with Him and do according to His will but it seems your prayers aren’t heard, don’t waver.  God deals with time and seasons and His promises for your life will definitely come to pass. He has done it before, He is still doing it and He will do it for you. Can’t He?

I pray you have a great week and always remember that every good and perfect gift comes from God. If He’s done it for me, He will do it for you exceedingly and abundantly than what you’ve ever imagined.

My name is Jackie Hanson. Cheers to doing His will and waiting for His acceptable time! 

Light and Love

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman
God’s Cover Girl