Tag Archives: Love

Every Mile Mattered

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I read a story of a woman whose story almost broke the internet after she gave birth 40 years post marriage. If she lived in my part of the world, the chastisement, judgement, and name calling would have been enough to make her feel worthless. It took four decades for her to finally own a son she can call hers. I shudder to think about the countless times she cried herself to sleep and the many days on which she felt incomplete among her peers. All those days her faith wavered, yet, she held on somehow have been rewarded.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Recently, my cousin graduated college after six years. If you’re guessing it’s no news because medicine students spend even more years in school, then i’m sorry to burst your bubble. She needed only four years to get hold of that degree certificate she proudly has now. I hadn’t experienced someone get so fulfilled in life until i saw her clad in her graduation gown that day, I felt so proud of her. When she recounted her predicament, you could testify that it hadn’t been easy. Today, she has new song.

Photo Credit: KCube Photography

Photo Credit: KCube Photography

My very good friend tells me how he got bounced from the US embassy when he applied for a visa to study abroad. On his way back home he ate Jollof at Linda D’or Restaurant, he swore the food was bad. But that same food, he ate it again, this time after he had gotten the visa and guess what? He really enjoyed it, it was delicious. What was the magic?

I envisioned to finish my first degree at 22, start my career and be on my way to becoming one of the finest communicators, get married and start my own life…
At 25, I have none of that happening. But, I look back and see what I’ve been through. They look like detours but not exactly. I’ve not attained it all but I’m glad that I have the experiences I have gathered along the way.
It tells me that, although I’m not where I want to be yet, I’m definitely not where I wouldn’t have loved to be. I’ve been through good and bad days, I’ve met amazing and bad people. I know you have too. Take a moment and reminisce, see how all those experiences have shaped your perspective and built your character…

There’s hope to be found when life takes you on a detour. Every tear, pain, every feeling of rejection, every sorrow you gathered on your way, they don’t define who you are or what you will be. It’s history. You can choose to stay and wallow in your past if you want to. But here’s your motivation, you aren’t what you used to be and your past is not prophecy of your future. Get rid of the “shoulda, coulda, woulda’s” and position yourself to embrace what the future holds for you. If you’re already continuing in His lead…for the win. Don’t beat yourself because really, Every mile mattered .

The Writer, Jackie Hanson

The Writer, Jackie Hanson


Light and Love,
Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman

Ps: The title of this article is inspired by US Singer, Nicole Nordeman’s single, “Every Mile Mattered”. You should listen to it, you’ll be inspired even more.

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Broken For A Purpose: Broken To Be Built.

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I still remember when my heart got broken. Yes that was me and girl, trust me when I say broken. I mean how could the guy who professed to love me to the moon and back walk out on me with no reason barely 6 months into the relationship? (I felt my world had crushed, well it did.) He was like an angel from the beginning and the last time I checked angels do not hurt. So how come? How naïve?

Sadly in midday of March, little did I know that all the beautiful times, constant care and attention we shared would one day come to an end. What worsened the matter was that he walked out without an explanation. He left too many questions on my mind I could not find answers to. I mean everything was ok between us. He wasn’t like the other guys who felt abstaining from sex till marriage was primitive.

As a matter of fact, he commended me for upholding my values. He supported my dreams and encouraged me towards attaining my goals. So what the hell had gone wrong with my prince charming? I needed answers yet I couldn’t find any. I couldn’t understand why everything that seemed so perfect all of a sudden would mean nothing at all.

At first I thought it was a joke. But the calls stopped coming and the messages stopped flooding my inbox. It was real. I cried weeks on end, I listened to music I felt was soothing, no hugs were comforting and no words of motivation were motivating enough. All my writings were about him and the bitter experience. I was in the doldrums. Nothing ever hurt so badly like that.

I felt God had forsaken me. I didn’t even think I will be writing this today, no. Not until that conference in May, the Rhema Conference. After the service, I received the call that changed my life. The man of God told me God’s eyes are on me and that I should surrender all to him. That I couldn’t make it on my own. And that, I should no longer fret about what didn’t matter. And that was all the inspiration I needed. My first love got me! Shoop a doop Jackie!

There was a transformation. There was an urgency to draw closer to God. I run back into my heavenly father’s arms for his comfort. I had left him for so long chasing a mortal who could offer me nothing but heartbreak. He was more than ready to receive me once I acknowledged his existence. He knew I was going to be hurt but I guess he wanted me to go through the remnants of a broken heart.

Now I yearned to have a personal relationship with God. I studied the Bible as a priority. I prayed and cried to God for recuperation. He healed me and made me better. I emerged from the heartbreak with a scar which reminds me everyday on thriving towards becoming the phenomenal woman that God made me to be. I have become stronger and wiser by grace of God. Yet again, I have learned to follow God’s wisdom and forgiveness. I learned to have faith in God to lead me to someone in His timing.

Today, I can say confidently that I was broken but God is using my brokenness to build other people who find themselves in the position i was some years ago, which is all that this blog is about.

So thank you for always stopping by to read when there is something new up here, i hope God helps you to put the pieces in your life together so you can have an amazing story to tell and heal the world.
Sometimes, just sometimes, it’s darkest before the dawn!
Light and Love!

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman

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“5 Reasons People Go Back To the Things That Break Them”-In Relationships

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Everyone’s wish in every sphere of their lives is that, they will prosper in the ventures they embark on. The same rule applies when we meet someone and develop feelings for them. A normal person will hope that, that platonic relationship will flourish and eventually bloom into something beautiful and forever.

Whereas, some people are simply fortunate, others get tossed in a roller coaster characterized with numerous and unthinkable challenges. Some of the awful things that happen to us (those who get hurt over and over again) are result of the fact that, we allow them to happen to us, knowing or unknowingly.

In love and relationships, the assumption is that, you can’t give up on love because someone hurt you. But as you do, sometimes, you unintentionally give yourself away to be hurt again. Here are five reasons why people go back to the things that break them:

1. We don’t heal completely: When you go through the pain of a failed relationship, it’s often not advisable to jump into another one with hopes of getting better. You need to go through recuperation process (see my post on Recuperation Process).
It may take some long time but you need to go through it. Breakups are not pleasant experiences, you can’t afford keep ending up in there.

2. We become tired of waiting: Like I said in the previous point, recuperation may take a very long time. However, that is no excuse to start another one when you are still nursing bruises from the past. No one likes to wait for whatever but if indeed the saying “the best things come to those who wait” is true then wouldn’t you rather wait?

3. We get shifted in focus: Especially in our walk with God, when we stop getting closer to
God, that is, when we allow little foxes to get into our walk with Him, it ruins the relationship. So bad so that, now we don’t seek His consent in our endeavours and move away from His counsel. Once our relationship with God becomes unsteady, we will keep running into things that will break than repair us. Stay with God!

4. We pretend to be ok when we aren’t: Here’s one major reason why we keep going through pain over and over again. Because we feign our personalities and pretend as though everything is ok when everything is not ok. Because we want to be on the same page as everyone else and be in relationships that are detrimental to our well being. So when a guy shows you a simple gesture of kindness today, you jump into his arms tomorrow flattered that he loves you only to find yourself in ruins all over again. Quit the pretense!

5. Holding on in hopes of getting better: Until you find yourself in that situation, you will think it’s ridiculous for people to stay in relationships that are not pleasurable. But you know, sometimes people just love the idea of being in a relationship for the beauty of it. That among many reasons is why they still remain in them regardless how abusive they are. Or typically, because they wouldn’t like to be lonely or single again, they will choose to stay. What’s the point? Rather be alone than unhappy!

There are so many lessons that failed relationships teach us. If we don’t allow ourselves to be taught by them, we won’t appreciate them. Don’t be ashamed of the scars they leave you with. Scars are a proof that God heals and a reminder that He’s faithful. He will honour at the right time in His acceptable year. Get up, wipe the dust off you and embrace your bright future that’s ahead of you. Remain blessed.

Light and Love,
Jackie.
The Khayil Woman.

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NO SHADES OF GRAY PT 3

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    PART 3
    CHAPTER 10
    Fast forward today, i lay in the hospital bed with my mom and Oscar’s sitting beside me. My mom had called Oscar’s mom to tell her what she had seen and what had gotten me unconscious. They only knew the tip of the iceberg. They couldn’t wait to hear the story so I gave it to them.

    Before I met Oscar, I was in an “ungodly” relationship with Greg. Greg was a sweet guy but wasn’t saved. He wasn’t even a church-goer, at least. He was what we call “bad boy”. We used to have sex, go to the club and do all of the things that are considered “worldly”. My mom didn’t like my relationship with Greg neither did she like him. I loved Greg but I loved God. I will go to church on Sunday morning but spend the rest of the day with him doing what I shouldn’t be doing as an unmarried Christian lady. I wanted Greg as much as I wanted God in my life. But really, I couldn’t have my cake and eat it. I had to choose one. I remember he told me once bluntly that, it’s either I stayed with him or I left and focused on my God. He was sweet and charming and I couldn’t imagine leaving him. But I had to decide. I had reached a point in my life where I needed to take my relationship with God a notch higher, that was one of my new year resolutions. I knew I didn’t have to be a lukewarm Christian but I couldn’t help it so I stayed with him.

    CHAPTER 11
    When Oscar came into the picture, I realized that he was everything Greg wasn’t. He looked like a saint. He was God fearing but wore denim jeans and desert boots. He was different from the other church guys who still wore 15yards of trousers and had no chill. But Oscar!!!

    I didn’t think twice anytime I had to hang out with Oscar. Greg noticed I had changed but I couldn’t face him and tell him I was seeing someone I had wanted all this while. He loved me but not the kind of love that Jesus admonished the church to. His love was the “let’s make love if you truly love me” kind of love.
    He noticed my change of behavior and even caught me with Oscar one day. That was when he finally gave up and we broke up. I wasn’t hurt or broken hearted but I heard through some of our friends that Greg was having a hard time dealing with the break up, I cared less.
    As for my mom she was happy I had finally left the devil and met the saint, Oscar.

    CHAPTER 12
    Oscar had left his city to start a new life in my city where we met. His past was nothing good to write home about. Not knowing, he was a womanizer who had had almost 4 divorces. He used his charm on rich independent women and lured them to fall in love with him and eventually married them. He later poisons them or arrange with robbers to invade their house and operate. They kill the women and frame it as though they were indeed attacked. Oscar now becomes the rightful custodian of their money and properties then he relocates to another city for another candidate. I was going to be his 5th.

    However, the only son of his last late wife wasn’t having it. Prince, a junkie had escaped from the rehab center he was in when he heard what had happened to his mom and her money. He started tracking Oscar and threatened him to give him back what he had “stolen ” from his mom or he will kill him. Oscar as clever as he was will play on the guy’s intelligence, give him some money for drugs and hope that, that will be the end but this guy will show up again.
    In their last conversation, Prince threatened to ruin his wedding by killing his bride if he didn’t sign the power of attorney over his mother’s inheritance.

    Oscar still refused to budge and sign within the time frame he had been given. He thought I will be the one to be shot after all, he couldn’t be bothered.
    That fateful day, our wedding day, the tables turned and Prince executed what he had said he would. No, he didn’t shoot me for Oscar to escape? He shot Oscar and he himself was ran over by a tipper truck driver on the highway, we heard.

    CHAPTER 13
    Oscar’s mom buried her face in her palms and wept like a child.
    My mom apologized to me for contributing somehow to everything that had happened to me. She felt guilty. She was the one that influenced me even more to leave Greg and go after Saint Oscar.
    We left the hospital and I later found out that, in the season which Greg’s heart was broken by me, he found his way to church and surrendered his will to God, asked for forgiveness and set out on a whole new journey crazily for the things of God and totally in love with his new found love, Jesus. I heard he had even met a lady and they were preparing to get married.
    Until then, I didn’t know how much I loved Greg and how much I regretted for leaving him.
    I consoled myself. Perhaps we weren’t meant for each other or this is how it was meant to be.
    I went back to church, started the new converts class all over again, prayed more often and read the Bible like I should.
    I surrendered and gave my life back to God as a blank canvass and asked Him to paint it the way he wanted to.

    The END!

    DISCLAIMER:⚠️ The image of the person used in this story is not associated with the events in the story.It is only a fiction!

    ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: Thank you to Jemmy Monney for allowing me to use her photo. ☺️
    Written by Jackie Hanson
    www.thekhayilwoman.com

    The writer, Jackie Hanson

    The writer, Jackie Hanson

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NO SHADES OF GRAY PT 2

Photo Credit: Carlos and Catherine Howze

Photo Credit: Carlis and Catherine Howze

CHAPTER 5
Anyone who knows me, Clara Afua Woode, knows me to be very inquisitive. I’m not gullible. I really love to pry and find answers to anything that bothers my mind. Besides, I have learned to trust my instincts. Trust me when I say, I pay a great deal of attention to my instincts.
It even grew worse after Oscar’s demise. My desire to find out who killed my husband was fierce and it made me pay attention to the slightest detail.

CHAPTER 6
In Oscar’s “Recently Deleted ” album were screenshots of messages between himself and an unknown number, the number had no name.
You had to see what I was seeing. I didn’t even know if to scream or keep mute. My hands shook as I read on and my feet trembled. Beads of sweat had already started forming on my forehead and chin. Chills run through my spine and my legs couldn’t bear the pressure. The images I was seeing and the texts I was reading were horrible! That was what got me crashing on the floor and finally landing in the hospital bed, I guess.
I had fallen into a coma and being unconscious for 2days.
Oscar wasn’t all that he said he was. He was trickster with a Ph.D in pretending.
I regretted ever meeting him.

CHAPTER 7
I met Oscar as a greeter at my church. He was a new convert and had just finished his New Convert class. In my church, after going through the disciple class, new converts are encouraged to join any movement of their choice to help them get active in church and while at it, work out their own salvation with fear and trembling. That day, I had to be literally dragged out of bed to go to church cus I was so tired from the other night’s party with the girls. On my arrival at church, I was greeted by this tall, dark, fit and cute guy. My decision to come to church wasn’t a bad one after all. Whew!
He was so sweet. He smiled and said, “welcome to today’s service” then reached out for my hand and helped me climb the stairs. He looked absolutely stunning in his jeans and well pressed white shirt with his sleeves folded just the way I love to see my man. His smile was infectious and it stayed with me throughout the service. I wanted to see him again!

CHAPTER 8
After service, I headed towards the car park and reached for my car. Immediately I was ready to move, I looked through my rare view mirror and behold…there was the greeter! Ouh! God’s sense of humor amazes me, I thought to myself and smiled.
Before I could say Jack he was standing beside me. I had to pretend I wasn’t crushing on him but my nerves betrayed me. This ensued between us:
Oscar: Hi, I’m Oscar and you are?
Me: I’m Clara.
Oscar: Kindly pardon but seeing you earlier, I felt you needed some good amount of sleep. It showed all over your face though you tried concealing it with make up. (Smiles)
Me: Oh you don’t say! I was tired and didn’t even want to come but my mom wasn’t having it. How long have you been here in this church ? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.
Oscar: oh really? It’s been almost 6months.
Me: Wow! I don’t think I’ve noticed you.
Ok Oscar, clearly you know I need some sleep so I guess I’ll see you around.
Oscar: Oh yeah there’s a time for everything indeed. Maybe this is the time God destined for us to meet each other. I was just on my way out too. I look forward to seeing you again. Do have a nice week.
Me: Thank you !

CHAPTER 9
On Tuesday at the bank where I work as Customer Service personnel, there was Oscar sitting right in front of me seeking clarification on some issues with his account. Trust me, it was only a coincidence. I found out he had a fat account yet he appeared so humble and simple to me.
We exchanged pleasantries, he told me how happy he was to see me again. I gave him answers and the update he needed with what was going on with his money and bingo! The problem was solved.
It was around 10 in the morning so he offered to pick me for lunch later and I agreed. I would have been the biggest fool to turn him down, i told myself.

Days and weeks passed and we kept seeing each other. There was something quietly amazing about this guy I couldn’t place my finger on. His baritone voice resounded in my heart and ears and it was a joy to hear him speak or even say my name, “Clara”. He was careful and gentle. The kind of guy who will open the car door for me and draw the chair for me to sit at lunch or dinner. He will compliment me and make me feel good about myself. In one of our conversations, I got to know that we shared the same perceptions on sex before marriage. He told me he had repented and accepted the Lord as his personal savior and that meant he will obey His precepts including waiting until marriage before sex. Ooh hallelujah! This is my portion, I said a silent thank you prayer.
I must admit that everything was moving so fast but I couldn’t be bothered. One fateful day while we were out for dinner, he pulled out a ring proposed to me. Did I say yes? I bet you guessed right!
Joy, like a river filled my soul.
Little did I know that was the beginning of my woes.

End of Part 2. Watch out for how this story unfolds in the final part.

DISCLAIMER ⚠️ The people in the image used are not in any way associated to this story. This is only a fiction!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: Thank you to Mr&Mrs Carlis Howze for permitting me to use this photo. 🎀

Written by Jackie Hanson
www.thekhayilwoman.com

The writer, Jackie Hanson

The writer, Jackie Hanson

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NO SHADES OF GRAY

Photo Credit: ShutterStock

Photo Credit: ShutterStock

NO SHADES OF GRAY
PART 1

CHAPTER 1
My dream to be a happy wife was short lived a few minutes after I had said”I do” to the man of my dreams. I could see the fire in Oscar’s eyes as he watched me take steady strides down the aisle as his bride.
I bet too many thoughts rushed through his mind. His facial expressions read something like, “Finally, I’ve paid the bride price. She’s going to be officially mine, Mrs Owusu Afriyie. Cheers to the end of lonely and cold nights. Waiting wasn’t easy but worth it after all.” I watched on as he beamed with glee. He couldn’t wait to carry me in his arms for the honeymoon at a coded location, it was going to be a surprise.

CHAPTER 2
Fairly, everyone was merry and excited to see us, two love birds on the dance floor dancing during the couple’s first dance. Ouh….Oscar had some crazy dance moves.
What seemed all exciting and beautiful came to a grinding halt when gunshots were heard firing all over the banquet area where the wedding reception was going on. People had to run for their dear lives by all means possible. They trampled over each other, there was a serious stampede.
Myself and my husband tried to escape the scene to find refuge somewhere. Just as we turned to head in the direction, there stood a fierce, masked gunman who fired four bullets into my Oscar’s chest….pow pow pow pow!!! Clearly they came for him. No one got shot but my Oscar. He died on the spot!

There was my husband laying helpless in my arms with blood gushing out from his chest and ribs. My Prince Charming, my tall glass of hot chocolate and husband of my dreams was gone in a split of a second. I couldn’t accept the reality. I cried my lungs out.
They should have shot me too so we die together, I cursed. In the spur of that moment, I only wanted to die. My insides churned. Only God knew what pain I was in. But why??? I had too many questions I never found answers to. What has my eyes beheld? How was I going to live the rest of my life seeing my best friend and lover die so painfully in my own arms?

CHAPTER 3
My brother and some relatives came and managed to carry him away from me to the hospital cus I won’t let go, it was a struggle. I couldn’t let him go just like that? What about the dreams we shared and the plans to make our home a haven to our kids? No Oscar!! Noo! This couldn’t be goodbye!
That night was supposed to be when we would first make love to each other. It was supposed to be our honeymoon somewhere serene and peaceful. But there I was with stains of blood and memories of the worst day ever. I was restless, broken and greatly saddened. A green leaf had fallen!

Oscar’s mom had already grown fond of me even before we started plans to get married. Such a great mother in-law she was going to be. She was with me every step of the way comforting and praying with me like my real mom did. She promised me we will get to the bottom of the matter and my husband’s killer would be brought to book. For some reasons, every time she said that, my heart leaped with joy. I sought vengeance so badly.

CHAPTER 4
The funeral rites were quickly over. Friends and sympathizers had left to continue with their own lives. Where was I going to start from? Hmm…your guess is as good as mine.
3months since 19th June had already come by and I had still not gotten over the shock. I didn’t want to accept that I needed therapy. My mom suggested she moved in so she could keep an eye on me, it was a great idea. All too soon I was the baby Clara she had carried in her arms some 29years ago catering for my every need.
One Sunday afternoon after church, I had managed to swallow some morsels of fufu with peanut butter soup and was feeling just ok. I decided to switch my late husband’s phone on. It was one of the things I used to do anytime I missed him.
I had already replied a bunch of the messages and chosen to ignore some. For once, I scrolled through his contact list and watched his pictures from one album to the other.
From the early stages when we used to go on lunch dates, the movies, Praise and Worship Concerts and our favorite Uncle Ebo Whyte’s play shows at the National Theatre. Those were priceless moments.
Then I opened the “Recently Deleted ” album also to see the not-so-cute selfies and pictures that never make the cut to Facebook and Instagram, I smiled.
Little did I know that, not everyone ‘s “Recently Deleted” album were necessarily a carrier of ugly selfies. All the answers I needed to know as to who killed my husband of 2hours were right before me.
End of Part 1!
Watch out to see how this story unfolds in the next part.

Written by Jackie Hanson
www.thekhayilwoman.com
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So You Think You Can Change Him?

Whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin.

Whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin.

Many young ladies in church today, for the fear of being lonely or single are ”dating” guys who do not share their values of purity. It’s been said that girls like bad boys and the meaning I derive from this, are boys who go to church alright but have not been saved and think that having sex before marriage is the coolest and latest trend. Purity is like dead news to their ears.

You may have fallen prey to this before where you won’t compromise on your purity yet because you wanted to be flattered by love and receive the affirmation of people like, “hey you know what’s up” or for them not to say you’re “chrife”, you get into a relationship with a boy who goes to church alright, his views on purity and yours are contrasting but you have hopes of changing him to buy into your idea forgetting that only God can change his mind.

To those of us who are not well rooted in the faith, this is a dangerous ground to tread. At the beginning of the relationship, he will assure you he won’t disturb you with sex here and there. You will be blinded by love to feel that hugging, kissing, fondling, fore play etc. are normal because physically, you are not having sexual intercourse and you think, that makes you pure. Hello! Being a virgin and being pure are two different things. Fine, you may be a virgin but your purity has been stained with the doing of all those things. Pray for forgiveness.

Now back to the reason why I’m writing this note. Agreeing to a guy who doesn’t believe your beliefs or shares your values is a deadly decision. He may have said he will change but not all those who go to the hospital are sick and so it is with all the people we see in church go because of Jesus. He may be fine and oh… ojacious too but watch out for wolves in sheep skin. You can’t change him only God can. Step aside and let God work on him without your love interruptions.
If you really love him like you say, simply step aside.

Of course there are those guys who think chastity is old fashioned and no amount of words will ever change their minds. They are not your nut to crack, leave them to God. Someone is cringing and saying that, the real dudes in church don’t look cool and they wear baggies and plenty chains allover in 2016 but the ‘bad guys” are the ones that know what’s up.
Ok! Be reminded, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14  
Dear sister, being single is a phase that every happily married person once went through. If you think it sucks, then I’m sorry but you need it to prepare you for the next stage so it’s essential.
Don’t agree to date a guy with hopes that you can influence him to wait until marriage before sex. (ha! It’s even ridiculous to them)

Focus on you. Delight in doing what pleases God and in His own acceptable time, He will bring you someone who won’t bother you and drag you into sexual sin. If you rush and go ahead of Him confident that you can change this guy in question, you may not get out of the relationship as you went. Plus, whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin. It’s time to have a self-check! THE END!

Remain blessed. #EM16
I’d love to hear from you. Share your comments with me.

Signed:Jackie Hanson
😍😍

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No Strings Attached

Closed doors are but for a reason and God knows why.

Closed doors are but for a reason and God knows why.

Sometimes when I needed something from my mom as a kid, I will go the extra mile in doing anything that pleased her especially with house6 chores. I knew what she expected of me, sometimes I fell short but on days when I needed something from her, oh boy! I made a conscious effort of being the world’s second best daughter to woo her to give me that which I wanted. Now when I get whatever I want… (I believe you have a better version of how this story goes).

This is how we get sometimes in our walk with God. I am trusting God for one blessing. If then, why don’t I get involved in doing the things He loves, get very busy serving and by so doing I may catch His attention and He will grant me the desires of my heart. I’m sorry but it appears most of us find ourselves in church because of the blessings we can get from Him. But God can’t be manipulated by our so called service.  

If our sole idea of sweeping church, ushering, or singing is centered on the blessings we can get from doing it, so that we do not wholly love God for who He is and not what we can get from Him, we miss the mark.

Maybe we should take a minute to check ourselves again. Should God deny me this one thing I earnestly desire, will I still pursue Him? Will I still sing even when I am not given awards on big platforms? Will they find me in church after I have sung in the choir my whole life yet no one wants to marry me?

When we grow in loving God, earthly desires will mean nothing to us anymore. If we genuinely delight ourselves in God, the rest will fall in place.
What is left for us to do now is to nurture our love to increase for God wholly with no strings attached.

Job, by all standards loved God, that even in his brokenness and nothingness he still did not curse God. He loved God and nothing could come between him and his love for God.
Not his children, his spouse, his health, his friends, his possession, his oxen or whatever could separate him from the love of God. His love for God compelled Him to trust Him that regardless the turmoil he was surrounded with on every side, he still won’t give up on God.

God already knows our hearts and what our reason for seeking Him is. He knows what’s best for us and knows the perfect timing when we can have it. He wants us to be true and genuine and not limit our service to Him by what He can give us. It’s a privilege we actually have to be in love with God cus the truth is, He could have chosen anyone else but He chose you to be in love with.

As we grow in our Christian walk, I pray the love of God consumes us and compel us to trust Him to grant our heart desires in His perfect time. I’ll spare you the sermon on why He shuts certain doors in our faces for today but know this, He loves you and knows what’s best for you.  

May God bring us to a place where we can testify like Job, that “though He slay me, yet will I trust Him…”  

We got to learn to love God, nothing beats knowing Him and falling in love with Him. God bless you!

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman  

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What Kind Of Music Do You Feed On?

Photo Credit: Godlydating101

Photo Credit: Godlydating101

Before I got saved, I loved listening to those songs we call “love songs”. They had a way of making me fall asleep daydreaming of a fairytale love. The kind of love those songs preach aren’t the one that says love is patient, kind, not boastful etc
Love in those songs most times are centered on sex, fornication, lust, adultery et al. They are the complete opposites of what the gospel preaches about love. This boy I thought we were both in love walked out of the relationship one day and left me broken. I resorted to listening to our magical love songs hoping the pain will be nursed. It didn’t but rather aggravated the pain anytime I listened to them. It made me cry and cry yet my lover boy never returned. My healing process begun when I started listening to soul uplifting songs like “What Scars are for – Mandisa”, “In Christ Alone –Newsboys”,” He’s Able – Deittrick Haddon” et al…I realized that anytime I listened to these songs I felt refreshed and hopeful of true and unconditional love and not the kind that those ‘love songs’ preach. What I did with those ones, hmm, your guess is as good as mine.

If you wake up in the morning and the first thing you listen to are songs that promote sex, lust, fornication don’t be surprised when you feel like masturbating to satisfy your desires or chase  everything in skirt or flirt with men. In the same vein when you wake up and meditate on the scriptures, singing Holy Spirit filled songs , you will desire to continually dwell in the presence of God and oh, if you ask me, I bet it’s the best thing that can ever happen to you.  You are what you listen to.

Some of you try to justify why you listen to those songs yet we say we are Christians and say” no one is perfect”. But I say to you, in our imperfection, let’s try to be Christ like.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Signed: Jackie Hanson

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5 Things Every Teen Mom Must Know

We all had great dreams and aspirations while growing up. Seven out of ten ladies wish that someday, they will fall in love and that guy will finally “pop the question” and they will agree to begin the marital journey together, hopefully, everafter.
I don’t think that any teen mom out there  prayed for that fate. No one prayed to get pregnant deliberately in her teen years, drop out of school, feel inferior, depressed and all the crazy things that these ones go through.

Too many times, we haven’t helped these girls feel good and given them hope of a better future. So they try to feel good about themselves and blend in society as if nothing ever happened. They hide their brokeness and pretend as if they are fine when they actually need help. I’m sorry if i have ever treated anyone like this. If you know of such, extend my love to them. Give them this letter, i pray they find it useful.

Dear “Teen Mom”,
✅Face The Fact That You’re Broken And Need Help: Bring yourself to accept the truth glaring in your face that you need help, accept it. Until you admit that you’re broken on the inside, you can’t get fixed. I know you’re pained by the stigma society places on you and all that but you can’t change it. That’s society! They won’t stop judging you nor convicting you so refuse to allow their actions ruin you the more. You may look chic on the outside but on the inside is bitterness. Set your ego aside and begin your recuperation process by admittiing you are broken and need to be fixed asap!

✅Don’t Eliminate Yourself from People Who Can Help You: The good news is, there are still some great persons out there who won’t judge you or call you names. They may not be your relatives but they are ever willing to help you get well. Confront them and let them assist you. You certainly won’t find them when you walk alone and try to do all things by yourself. Associations really matter, you can count on some great ones. Flock with the right people.

✅Don’t Pretend: Ok! You’ve been feigning your persona for too long. Remove that egoistic garment of pretence and throw it somewhere. Trying to live like nothing is wrong when everything isn’t right won’t help you. It won’t make you get on the same page as everyone else. You can wear all the trendy clothes and the finest make up but no amount of all that will help you. Quit the pretence!

✅Don’t Ignore The Lessons The Wounds Were Meant To Teach You: Every circumstance we find ourselves in, somehow, teaches us some lessons, especially, the ugly ones. Don’ repeat the same things you did that led you into the mess you are in now. You know them better. Scars are helpful here. Let them remind you of who/what/where you were, where you ‘re now and where you are going.

✅Get Serious With Your Life: Take this seriously. Clearly, your mates have moved on with their lives and you aren’t on the same page with them now cus at one point you had to pause and nurse your baby. That’s great but your friends didn’t wait for you, they furthered and pursued their dreams. Get back to school if you have to. Get a job! You can’t depend on people your whole life. You need to get back on track and get things going on.
Work on yourself to get back in shape. Hit the gym if you have to.

There are a lot of opportunities waiting for you to tap into today. Don’t let life pass you by. Take control! Remember, life is worth living no matter the circumstance.
Above all these things, God loves you. Anytime you feel down, remember that God takes the foolish things of this world to shame the wise. (1 Cor 1:27) And he makes miracles out of every mess. He will make yours if you let him. He still loves you.
All the very best.
Light and Love.

Yours,
Jackie.

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