Tag Archives: Jesus

So You Think You Can Change Him?

Whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin.

Whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin.

Many young ladies in church today, for the fear of being lonely or single are ”dating” guys who do not share their values of purity. It’s been said that girls like bad boys and the meaning I derive from this, are boys who go to church alright but have not been saved and think that having sex before marriage is the coolest and latest trend. Purity is like dead news to their ears.

You may have fallen prey to this before where you won’t compromise on your purity yet because you wanted to be flattered by love and receive the affirmation of people like, “hey you know what’s up” or for them not to say you’re “chrife”, you get into a relationship with a boy who goes to church alright, his views on purity and yours are contrasting but you have hopes of changing him to buy into your idea forgetting that only God can change his mind.

To those of us who are not well rooted in the faith, this is a dangerous ground to tread. At the beginning of the relationship, he will assure you he won’t disturb you with sex here and there. You will be blinded by love to feel that hugging, kissing, fondling, fore play etc. are normal because physically, you are not having sexual intercourse and you think, that makes you pure. Hello! Being a virgin and being pure are two different things. Fine, you may be a virgin but your purity has been stained with the doing of all those things. Pray for forgiveness.

Now back to the reason why I’m writing this note. Agreeing to a guy who doesn’t believe your beliefs or shares your values is a deadly decision. He may have said he will change but not all those who go to the hospital are sick and so it is with all the people we see in church go because of Jesus. He may be fine and oh… ojacious too but watch out for wolves in sheep skin. You can’t change him only God can. Step aside and let God work on him without your love interruptions.
If you really love him like you say, simply step aside.

Of course there are those guys who think chastity is old fashioned and no amount of words will ever change their minds. They are not your nut to crack, leave them to God. Someone is cringing and saying that, the real dudes in church don’t look cool and they wear baggies and plenty chains allover in 2016 but the ‘bad guys” are the ones that know what’s up.
Ok! Be reminded, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14  
Dear sister, being single is a phase that every happily married person once went through. If you think it sucks, then I’m sorry but you need it to prepare you for the next stage so it’s essential.
Don’t agree to date a guy with hopes that you can influence him to wait until marriage before sex. (ha! It’s even ridiculous to them)

Focus on you. Delight in doing what pleases God and in His own acceptable time, He will bring you someone who won’t bother you and drag you into sexual sin. If you rush and go ahead of Him confident that you can change this guy in question, you may not get out of the relationship as you went. Plus, whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin. It’s time to have a self-check! THE END!

Remain blessed. #EM16
I’d love to hear from you. Share your comments with me.

Signed:Jackie Hanson


Jesus At The Center


For the umpteenth time, I’ve been asked, “What makes a good relationship”? Let me attempt to answer but just so you know I’m not a relationship expert, in fact I am not even in one. Yet thank God for wisdom and grace to address some of these issues as inspired.

Without a shadow of doubt, I know, that a Christ-centered relationship will thrive.
I know you are itching your head and cringing at this and you are saying “it is not possible in this modern day”.
But lean forward and take this, the fear of God in us will compel us to trust and obey.

The fear of God in us alone will restrain us from doing things in our relationships that are not in agreement with God’s word. Should Nii and I make up our minds to pursue God and to walk with Him in our “dating” period, there will be no room for ungodly acts to have a place in our relationship. Just like David, we pray God, that His word will be hidden in our hearts so that we may not sin against Him.

When we become intentional about making Jesus the center of our relationships, it will be difficult for sin to have dominion over us.

It comes from two people who determine in their hearts not to allow the lusts of the flesh have control over their lives.

Two hearts who say Lord, it is not about us and our desires but doing what pleases you and gives you glory is our business.

Two minds who decide that we will not blend into society’s standard of right and modern but all that matters to us is, that your glory is manifested through our lives in our pursuit of purity.

It is because we trust God’s word that He will add all other things unto us if we seek Him first, so we will trust and obey!!

Not that we are not tempted to fall sometimes but the word of God in our hearts constantly reminds us “to put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts”.  Roman 13:14

May the joy of the Lord strengthen us and may the fear of the Lord in us compel us to build our relationships with Jesus at the center and focus! God bless you.

Light and Love,
Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman


Greatest Gift


All those times I spent partaking in almost all the programs acting like the most spiritual person on earth were moments of my life I lived to please my mother. Yes because, I can never recall a time when I wouldn’t go to church and be home for no reason. I dared not miss or even be late for Sunday school. She will yell at me and give me a beating of a lifetime. She was a staunch Christian and a single mother who tried to inculcate in my little brother and I the fear of God. Yet, it always beat her mind why I would win the memory verse recitals competition and come back home that same day and tell a lie and commit other sins. What she didn’t know was that, the messages fell on deaf ears and the joy of going to Sunday school was to catch up with my friends.

I later grow up to realize that, all she did for me at that time was trying to give me a citadel of hope to rely on someday when she isn’t around.The best possession she could leave for me was to accept the hand of friendship Jesus Christ extends. Today is exactly nine (9) years after her demise and I now fathom that all the beatings were worth.

Now I understand what it means when people cry their hearts out and roll on the floor during worship. I understand when someone expresses how bad he/she desires to know the Lord and can’t have enough of Him. I get it when someone says they have been baptized by the Holy Spirit and are inspired by Him to will and do His will. I so much understand when someone says they are pursuing holiness and won’t make anything come between that. I get it when they say they got their eyes fixed on an eternal reward in Heaven. I relate to it perfectly. I admit i was only a church goer at the time but today, i can confidently say that I’ve been saved by grace and the logs from my eyes have been removed.

So you! You might have a similar story, better or worse. There’s still the opportunity to get to know Jesus Christ and build a personal relationship with Him. Not all the people who are in church all the time profess the faith. Just like everyone you see at the market goes to buy or sell. Nothing compares to knowing Him and possibly feeling Him so close like the garment we wear.

I wish I could have another phase of getting trained up again by her and to appreciate her better. I couldn’t have had a better mom. Everyone is proud of their mama for different reasons. I am proud of my mama for leading me to Christ and she deserves a standing ovation!

Mother, if you aren’t leading your baby to Christ, see Proverbs 22:6 “Train up the child the way he should go and when he grows he shall not depart from it”.

Ps: If your mother is still alive, savour every moment.

Why are you proud of your mama?

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman


5 Things Every Teen Mom Must Know

We all had great dreams and aspirations while growing up. Seven out of ten ladies wish that someday, they will fall in love and that guy will finally “pop the question” and they will agree to begin the marital journey together, hopefully, everafter.
I don’t think that any teen mom out there  prayed for that fate. No one prayed to get pregnant deliberately in her teen years, drop out of school, feel inferior, depressed and all the crazy things that these ones go through.

Too many times, we haven’t helped these girls feel good and given them hope of a better future. So they try to feel good about themselves and blend in society as if nothing ever happened. They hide their brokeness and pretend as if they are fine when they actually need help. I’m sorry if i have ever treated anyone like this. If you know of such, extend my love to them. Give them this letter, i pray they find it useful.

Dear “Teen Mom”,
✅Face The Fact That You’re Broken And Need Help: Bring yourself to accept the truth glaring in your face that you need help, accept it. Until you admit that you’re broken on the inside, you can’t get fixed. I know you’re pained by the stigma society places on you and all that but you can’t change it. That’s society! They won’t stop judging you nor convicting you so refuse to allow their actions ruin you the more. You may look chic on the outside but on the inside is bitterness. Set your ego aside and begin your recuperation process by admittiing you are broken and need to be fixed asap!

✅Don’t Eliminate Yourself from People Who Can Help You: The good news is, there are still some great persons out there who won’t judge you or call you names. They may not be your relatives but they are ever willing to help you get well. Confront them and let them assist you. You certainly won’t find them when you walk alone and try to do all things by yourself. Associations really matter, you can count on some great ones. Flock with the right people.

✅Don’t Pretend: Ok! You’ve been feigning your persona for too long. Remove that egoistic garment of pretence and throw it somewhere. Trying to live like nothing is wrong when everything isn’t right won’t help you. It won’t make you get on the same page as everyone else. You can wear all the trendy clothes and the finest make up but no amount of all that will help you. Quit the pretence!

✅Don’t Ignore The Lessons The Wounds Were Meant To Teach You: Every circumstance we find ourselves in, somehow, teaches us some lessons, especially, the ugly ones. Don’ repeat the same things you did that led you into the mess you are in now. You know them better. Scars are helpful here. Let them remind you of who/what/where you were, where you ‘re now and where you are going.

✅Get Serious With Your Life: Take this seriously. Clearly, your mates have moved on with their lives and you aren’t on the same page with them now cus at one point you had to pause and nurse your baby. That’s great but your friends didn’t wait for you, they furthered and pursued their dreams. Get back to school if you have to. Get a job! You can’t depend on people your whole life. You need to get back on track and get things going on.
Work on yourself to get back in shape. Hit the gym if you have to.

There are a lot of opportunities waiting for you to tap into today. Don’t let life pass you by. Take control! Remember, life is worth living no matter the circumstance.
Above all these things, God loves you. Anytime you feel down, remember that God takes the foolish things of this world to shame the wise. (1 Cor 1:27) And he makes miracles out of every mess. He will make yours if you let him. He still loves you.
All the very best.
Light and Love.