Tag Archives: God

The Wounded Soldier

IMG_2738Grace got unequally yoked with an unbeliever, got into an ungodly relationship that left her broken in the long run. Michael was betrayed by a friend, almost a brother, whom he trusted so much. Jasmine lost her parents in a gory accident, they were staunch Christians, and she wondered why God didn’t save them and left them to die the way they did. All these people were Christians but they got wounded.

As Christians, we encounter different levels of heart wrenching experiences that cause us so much pain then get in between our walk with God. Some of these are avoidable while others are inevitable, like death. For the latter ones, we know that our warfare is not against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces. Therefore it gives us very little ability to know when they will come in order to prepare to face them. How about those we can avoid from happening to us, like Grace’s.

Right from the onset, something about the self-styled perfect relationship didn’t look good. It was bound to fail especially for Grace whose Christian faith opposed the principles upon which the relationship started. Not that she was oblivious to the fact, she allowed her emotions to take control of her. What more? She got desperate and lost faith in God’s ability to lead her to someone in His own timing.

Slowly, she drifted. She prayed less, stopped reading and meditating on the word and stopped engaging actively in the things of God like she used to. Then the worse happened. The guy left and sister was devastated. Whose fault?

Maybe like Grace, your wounds look a lot like rejection, fear, frustration, shame, insecurity or isolation. Or perhaps the scars on your heart show up in the form of bitterness, anxiety, addiction, oppression, or depression.

Sin presents itself in different levels and when we give it the power, it comes between our relationship with God and as real as it may sound, when sin gets in our way with God, we lose confidence in going back to dwell in His presence. The scars of the wounds remind us where we were and the pains feel fresh.
We don’t have to live our lives licking our wounds when God’s Word is full of power-packed passages that offer the cure for whatever is ailing us. Here are a few guides to recovery.

1. Recognize Your Wound: Healing starts when we realize that we are weak and need help. The first step to getting freed from infirmity is accepting that there’s pain lingering on in our hearts and we need to get rid of it.

2. Retreat For Treatment: It’s good to withdraw sometimes from the world, get locked in your closet, dwell in His presence and glean of Him. The quietness that comes with staying alone away from the world and social media refreshes your spirit and energizes you. It gives you the opportunity to work out your salvation and deepens your relationship with God. When you retreat, you come to a place of pleasing an audience of one without being tempted to pretend like you got it all together.

3. Repent And Return: My pastor always says that “There can be no forgiveness without true repentance”. True repentance goes beyond feeling sorry but realising that sin is evil and detesting the thought of it. If we desist from evil because of its ability to ruin us, it’s not enough. Rather, when we hate it because God hates it too. From this point, we can experience God’s forgiveness. After repentance, return to the former works and please God like never before. Support others and show compassion to other wounded soldiers, give them hope and show them the way.

4. Rest On His Promises: Trusting God’s word doesn’t always seem easy as it sounds especially when you can’t see beyond the circumstance. Sometimes it’s hard to let go of our wounds and wind up wearing them as badges of honour. God is unchangeable and so are His promises. “They are ye and Amen”. So whether we choose to admit it or not, His promises will still be and He will remain faithful. When the times comes, he does as He says He will.

Good news is, we don’t have to live the rest of our lives wounded. God waits for us with open arms and He is our endless comforter. That part of scripture that says “He heals the broken-hearted, and binds up their wounds” gives me so much warmth.

I don’t know what wounds you wear, it may be smelly and look so bad beyond repair but Let Jesus in, He’s the balm of Gilead and he says “There is more in the balm to heal than there is in guilt to wound; for there is more in grace to save than there is in sin to destroy.” Jer 8;22 Let this be your inspiration!

Signed: The Khayil Woman
Jackie Hanson

Ps: This message is inspired by a message preached by Ps Jacob Ahenkorah at one of Lifeline Ministries’ all-night service.

facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

“5 Reasons People Go Back To the Things That Break Them”-In Relationships

IMG_0659

Everyone’s wish in every sphere of their lives is that, they will prosper in the ventures they embark on. The same rule applies when we meet someone and develop feelings for them. A normal person will hope that, that platonic relationship will flourish and eventually bloom into something beautiful and forever.

Whereas, some people are simply fortunate, others get tossed in a roller coaster characterized with numerous and unthinkable challenges. Some of the awful things that happen to us (those who get hurt over and over again) are result of the fact that, we allow them to happen to us, knowing or unknowingly.

In love and relationships, the assumption is that, you can’t give up on love because someone hurt you. But as you do, sometimes, you unintentionally give yourself away to be hurt again. Here are five reasons why people go back to the things that break them:

1. We don’t heal completely: When you go through the pain of a failed relationship, it’s often not advisable to jump into another one with hopes of getting better. You need to go through recuperation process (see my post on Recuperation Process).
It may take some long time but you need to go through it. Breakups are not pleasant experiences, you can’t afford keep ending up in there.

2. We become tired of waiting: Like I said in the previous point, recuperation may take a very long time. However, that is no excuse to start another one when you are still nursing bruises from the past. No one likes to wait for whatever but if indeed the saying “the best things come to those who wait” is true then wouldn’t you rather wait?

3. We get shifted in focus: Especially in our walk with God, when we stop getting closer to
God, that is, when we allow little foxes to get into our walk with Him, it ruins the relationship. So bad so that, now we don’t seek His consent in our endeavours and move away from His counsel. Once our relationship with God becomes unsteady, we will keep running into things that will break than repair us. Stay with God!

4. We pretend to be ok when we aren’t: Here’s one major reason why we keep going through pain over and over again. Because we feign our personalities and pretend as though everything is ok when everything is not ok. Because we want to be on the same page as everyone else and be in relationships that are detrimental to our well being. So when a guy shows you a simple gesture of kindness today, you jump into his arms tomorrow flattered that he loves you only to find yourself in ruins all over again. Quit the pretense!

5. Holding on in hopes of getting better: Until you find yourself in that situation, you will think it’s ridiculous for people to stay in relationships that are not pleasurable. But you know, sometimes people just love the idea of being in a relationship for the beauty of it. That among many reasons is why they still remain in them regardless how abusive they are. Or typically, because they wouldn’t like to be lonely or single again, they will choose to stay. What’s the point? Rather be alone than unhappy!

There are so many lessons that failed relationships teach us. If we don’t allow ourselves to be taught by them, we won’t appreciate them. Don’t be ashamed of the scars they leave you with. Scars are a proof that God heals and a reminder that He’s faithful. He will honour at the right time in His acceptable year. Get up, wipe the dust off you and embrace your bright future that’s ahead of you. Remain blessed.

Light and Love,
Jackie.
The Khayil Woman.

facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

NO SHADES OF GRAY PT 3

    IMG_6725

    PART 3
    CHAPTER 10
    Fast forward today, i lay in the hospital bed with my mom and Oscar’s sitting beside me. My mom had called Oscar’s mom to tell her what she had seen and what had gotten me unconscious. They only knew the tip of the iceberg. They couldn’t wait to hear the story so I gave it to them.

    Before I met Oscar, I was in an “ungodly” relationship with Greg. Greg was a sweet guy but wasn’t saved. He wasn’t even a church-goer, at least. He was what we call “bad boy”. We used to have sex, go to the club and do all of the things that are considered “worldly”. My mom didn’t like my relationship with Greg neither did she like him. I loved Greg but I loved God. I will go to church on Sunday morning but spend the rest of the day with him doing what I shouldn’t be doing as an unmarried Christian lady. I wanted Greg as much as I wanted God in my life. But really, I couldn’t have my cake and eat it. I had to choose one. I remember he told me once bluntly that, it’s either I stayed with him or I left and focused on my God. He was sweet and charming and I couldn’t imagine leaving him. But I had to decide. I had reached a point in my life where I needed to take my relationship with God a notch higher, that was one of my new year resolutions. I knew I didn’t have to be a lukewarm Christian but I couldn’t help it so I stayed with him.

    CHAPTER 11
    When Oscar came into the picture, I realized that he was everything Greg wasn’t. He looked like a saint. He was God fearing but wore denim jeans and desert boots. He was different from the other church guys who still wore 15yards of trousers and had no chill. But Oscar!!!

    I didn’t think twice anytime I had to hang out with Oscar. Greg noticed I had changed but I couldn’t face him and tell him I was seeing someone I had wanted all this while. He loved me but not the kind of love that Jesus admonished the church to. His love was the “let’s make love if you truly love me” kind of love.
    He noticed my change of behavior and even caught me with Oscar one day. That was when he finally gave up and we broke up. I wasn’t hurt or broken hearted but I heard through some of our friends that Greg was having a hard time dealing with the break up, I cared less.
    As for my mom she was happy I had finally left the devil and met the saint, Oscar.

    CHAPTER 12
    Oscar had left his city to start a new life in my city where we met. His past was nothing good to write home about. Not knowing, he was a womanizer who had had almost 4 divorces. He used his charm on rich independent women and lured them to fall in love with him and eventually married them. He later poisons them or arrange with robbers to invade their house and operate. They kill the women and frame it as though they were indeed attacked. Oscar now becomes the rightful custodian of their money and properties then he relocates to another city for another candidate. I was going to be his 5th.

    However, the only son of his last late wife wasn’t having it. Prince, a junkie had escaped from the rehab center he was in when he heard what had happened to his mom and her money. He started tracking Oscar and threatened him to give him back what he had “stolen ” from his mom or he will kill him. Oscar as clever as he was will play on the guy’s intelligence, give him some money for drugs and hope that, that will be the end but this guy will show up again.
    In their last conversation, Prince threatened to ruin his wedding by killing his bride if he didn’t sign the power of attorney over his mother’s inheritance.

    Oscar still refused to budge and sign within the time frame he had been given. He thought I will be the one to be shot after all, he couldn’t be bothered.
    That fateful day, our wedding day, the tables turned and Prince executed what he had said he would. No, he didn’t shoot me for Oscar to escape? He shot Oscar and he himself was ran over by a tipper truck driver on the highway, we heard.

    CHAPTER 13
    Oscar’s mom buried her face in her palms and wept like a child.
    My mom apologized to me for contributing somehow to everything that had happened to me. She felt guilty. She was the one that influenced me even more to leave Greg and go after Saint Oscar.
    We left the hospital and I later found out that, in the season which Greg’s heart was broken by me, he found his way to church and surrendered his will to God, asked for forgiveness and set out on a whole new journey crazily for the things of God and totally in love with his new found love, Jesus. I heard he had even met a lady and they were preparing to get married.
    Until then, I didn’t know how much I loved Greg and how much I regretted for leaving him.
    I consoled myself. Perhaps we weren’t meant for each other or this is how it was meant to be.
    I went back to church, started the new converts class all over again, prayed more often and read the Bible like I should.
    I surrendered and gave my life back to God as a blank canvass and asked Him to paint it the way he wanted to.

    The END!

    DISCLAIMER:⚠️ The image of the person used in this story is not associated with the events in the story.It is only a fiction!

    ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: Thank you to Jemmy Monney for allowing me to use her photo. ☺️
    Written by Jackie Hanson
    www.thekhayilwoman.com

    The writer, Jackie Hanson

    The writer, Jackie Hanson

    facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

A Little Here and There, A Lot More In Store!

IMG_5697

To me, one’s ability to write is a beautiful and priceless gift. Why? Because not everyone can translate their feelings into words.
One of the amazing compliments that warms my heart is to see, “Thank you Jackie. You have a way of saying it exactly how it is, just how I feel…” I love to hear these…

These few months of blogging and telling people’s stories and coming back to read criticisms and compliments from you are beautiful moments. In fact, I look forward to hearing from you every time I put something up.
As I read your reactions to my articles, I get to know what stories make your insides churn, the issues that bring chills through your spine, the ones that make you want to have a self check and above all, the ones that challenge you to be a better Christian.

Aha! About being a better Christian, just so you know, I’m not a saint. I share my experiences with you in writing and suggest to you how you can overcome some temptations and work at being like Christ.
It doesn’t mean I have it all together? No! It means I have my flaws too and I stumble in my walk with God. I don’t get it right always. But I believe that walking with God means a lifetime of grace, goodness and mercy. If then, let me continue walking…

Back to “writing”, I know I have been away for sometime. The reality is, I don’t always get inspired to write so you can also get inspired. Sometimes, I feel lazy and won’t complete what I begin. Forgive 🙈
There are times too, I feel you need a break just so I don’t become a bore to you. Right? And there are days when I’m caught up in life’s highs and lows trying to make something better for myself.

I’m not trying to make excuses for being that kind of writer…remember I told you it’s a blessing to know that I can be a blessing to you through my posts. Left for me alone, I wish I will leave you everyday wanting to read more from me.
I bet that time will soon come!

What about you? Need I mention, I hope you are being the best version of you and living the life that God planned for you when He formed you? Trust me, it’s the best thing that could ever happen to you. It’s peaceful.
One big lesson I’ve learned this past year is to live and enjoy my ‘now moment’. Instead of fretting and being anxious about things that are never going to be mine, it’s best to focus on what I have now and make the best of it. It’s golden!

Know this, as you walk with God, everyday may not bring bliss and glee. But you can trust that at the end of the journey, you will sing the victor’s song. Cheers to walking with God and growing. Happy new year!

I shall return!

Light and Love,
Jackie.🎀
– [ ]

facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

“My Marriage Must Work!”

image

There’s no joy in living after your parents divorce. Sorry, but now you have to share in the bitterness that wells up in the parent you live with, especially mothers. You know how “petty” they become sometimes and how they will vent their spleen on you at the least provocation. The woes of a single mother as a result of divorce is nothing good to write home about.

Anyway back to the reason for this note. Your marriage must work, yes it must! If you have ever witnessed the harsh ordeal people go through because of an alcoholic, promiscuous, ungrateful, impatient and disloyal husband or wife, you can relate to this better.

You can’t afford a “try and error”. Some of us have been enlightened on some of the possible things that may cost us spending the rest of our lives in misery yet they are the very ones that entice us. Staying in toxic relationships and doing the do, attempting to change someone to fit in your mould, unequally yoking with an unbeliever etc…

Dear Christian Lady, (I address you because I can relate to you better).
I have never been married but I have seen and heard and sometimes shared the pain of the victims of this instance. In as much as God wants to bless us with good things, we also have a role to play. Let’s not pretend we don’t know the scriptures.

I know where I come from and its records, I don’t want to be told as another tale whose marriage didn’t work.
My candid prayer everyday, Lord, lead me and I will follow. Order my steps and open my eyes to see a “Boaz” when I meet one.
It’s a constant battle everyday with our preferences that tend to interphere with God’s plan. You see, while you want him tall and dark, God presents him short and fair😩.

But the real deal is, trusting God means, setting your preferences aside and putting yourself wholly into God’s and totally surrendering that, Lord do it your way. It means denying yourself of your choices and following God’s way.
So the ball is in your court. You still have the choice to choose whether to follow God’s plan for you or you follow your perfect choice of a dream man”.
I can guarantee that, once you allow God to make that choice for you, while you also play your role effectively like Abigail, Ruth, Rebecca, Esther, the Proverbs 31 woman etc… your marriage can’t go wrong.

So God help me and help me to trust your plan. In that I’m safe. Marriage is for better, for worse. Once you enter, no turning back. If then, what must we do?
By all means, my marriage and yours must work!! Share your thoughts with me.
It’s time to have a self check!

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman

facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

So You Think You Can Change Him?

Whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin.

Whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin.

Many young ladies in church today, for the fear of being lonely or single are ”dating” guys who do not share their values of purity. It’s been said that girls like bad boys and the meaning I derive from this, are boys who go to church alright but have not been saved and think that having sex before marriage is the coolest and latest trend. Purity is like dead news to their ears.

You may have fallen prey to this before where you won’t compromise on your purity yet because you wanted to be flattered by love and receive the affirmation of people like, “hey you know what’s up” or for them not to say you’re “chrife”, you get into a relationship with a boy who goes to church alright, his views on purity and yours are contrasting but you have hopes of changing him to buy into your idea forgetting that only God can change his mind.

To those of us who are not well rooted in the faith, this is a dangerous ground to tread. At the beginning of the relationship, he will assure you he won’t disturb you with sex here and there. You will be blinded by love to feel that hugging, kissing, fondling, fore play etc. are normal because physically, you are not having sexual intercourse and you think, that makes you pure. Hello! Being a virgin and being pure are two different things. Fine, you may be a virgin but your purity has been stained with the doing of all those things. Pray for forgiveness.

Now back to the reason why I’m writing this note. Agreeing to a guy who doesn’t believe your beliefs or shares your values is a deadly decision. He may have said he will change but not all those who go to the hospital are sick and so it is with all the people we see in church go because of Jesus. He may be fine and oh… ojacious too but watch out for wolves in sheep skin. You can’t change him only God can. Step aside and let God work on him without your love interruptions.
If you really love him like you say, simply step aside.

Of course there are those guys who think chastity is old fashioned and no amount of words will ever change their minds. They are not your nut to crack, leave them to God. Someone is cringing and saying that, the real dudes in church don’t look cool and they wear baggies and plenty chains allover in 2016 but the ‘bad guys” are the ones that know what’s up.
Ok! Be reminded, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14  
Dear sister, being single is a phase that every happily married person once went through. If you think it sucks, then I’m sorry but you need it to prepare you for the next stage so it’s essential.
Don’t agree to date a guy with hopes that you can influence him to wait until marriage before sex. (ha! It’s even ridiculous to them)

Focus on you. Delight in doing what pleases God and in His own acceptable time, He will bring you someone who won’t bother you and drag you into sexual sin. If you rush and go ahead of Him confident that you can change this guy in question, you may not get out of the relationship as you went. Plus, whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin. It’s time to have a self-check! THE END!

Remain blessed. #EM16
I’d love to hear from you. Share your comments with me.

Signed:Jackie Hanson
😍😍

facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

No Strings Attached

Closed doors are but for a reason and God knows why.

Closed doors are but for a reason and God knows why.

Sometimes when I needed something from my mom as a kid, I will go the extra mile in doing anything that pleased her especially with house6 chores. I knew what she expected of me, sometimes I fell short but on days when I needed something from her, oh boy! I made a conscious effort of being the world’s second best daughter to woo her to give me that which I wanted. Now when I get whatever I want… (I believe you have a better version of how this story goes).

This is how we get sometimes in our walk with God. I am trusting God for one blessing. If then, why don’t I get involved in doing the things He loves, get very busy serving and by so doing I may catch His attention and He will grant me the desires of my heart. I’m sorry but it appears most of us find ourselves in church because of the blessings we can get from Him. But God can’t be manipulated by our so called service.  

If our sole idea of sweeping church, ushering, or singing is centered on the blessings we can get from doing it, so that we do not wholly love God for who He is and not what we can get from Him, we miss the mark.

Maybe we should take a minute to check ourselves again. Should God deny me this one thing I earnestly desire, will I still pursue Him? Will I still sing even when I am not given awards on big platforms? Will they find me in church after I have sung in the choir my whole life yet no one wants to marry me?

When we grow in loving God, earthly desires will mean nothing to us anymore. If we genuinely delight ourselves in God, the rest will fall in place.
What is left for us to do now is to nurture our love to increase for God wholly with no strings attached.

Job, by all standards loved God, that even in his brokenness and nothingness he still did not curse God. He loved God and nothing could come between him and his love for God.
Not his children, his spouse, his health, his friends, his possession, his oxen or whatever could separate him from the love of God. His love for God compelled Him to trust Him that regardless the turmoil he was surrounded with on every side, he still won’t give up on God.

God already knows our hearts and what our reason for seeking Him is. He knows what’s best for us and knows the perfect timing when we can have it. He wants us to be true and genuine and not limit our service to Him by what He can give us. It’s a privilege we actually have to be in love with God cus the truth is, He could have chosen anyone else but He chose you to be in love with.

As we grow in our Christian walk, I pray the love of God consumes us and compel us to trust Him to grant our heart desires in His perfect time. I’ll spare you the sermon on why He shuts certain doors in our faces for today but know this, He loves you and knows what’s best for you.  

May God bring us to a place where we can testify like Job, that “though He slay me, yet will I trust Him…”  

We got to learn to love God, nothing beats knowing Him and falling in love with Him. God bless you!

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman  

facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

Extreme Makeover 2016

Extreme Makeover. Girls Symposium This August Coming Soon

Extreme Makeover. Girls Symposium This August Coming Soon

Like sheep we’ve gone astray,
We were desperate to fall in love with a person that we miss out on falling in love with the one whose love is unconditional and unfailing,

We wanted someone’s love to drown us
We wanted their love to make us feel better about ourselves

We’ve gone every mile for them,
To the extent of giving them our Father’s temple,
They couldn’t even appreciate it
They misused and mishandled us
They left us broken as if beyond repair

Bring your brokeness, I’ll bring mine
Your emptiness, I’ll bring mine
Come as you are, I’ll come just as I am

Let’s go to God, He’s ready to meet us face to face
He’s ready to fill our voids
He knows exactly where to touch to satisfy our hunger

Let’s go with our brokeness
He’s willing to heal our wounds, erase our scars and change our hearts for His dwelling
He will set us on a new journey and we won’t grow weary of walking with Him
He will empower us with strength

You’re not messed up beyond repair
God will make you over
He is the best make up artist ready to give you an Extreme Makeover

#Extreme Makeover #GirlsSymposium #This August #Coming Soon #Tellasister #ComeAsYouAre

Extreme Makeover is powered by The Khayil Woman
www.thekhayilwoman.com

facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail

Self Check

IMG_20160608_092930

God has someone special for you. The best thing is to wait for His appointed time to lead you to that special someone in His own timing.

If you discover how much worth you are to God, you don’t lower your standards to allowing any man at all have his way with you for NO REASON at all.

It is not ego, it is knowing who you are in God and living the life which is worthy of the price at which you were bought.

You are not any material that anyone can have, misuse and dump for the next item on their bill. Your worth is far more than rubies. That’s the reality, live it!

Do i have any witnesses? Let’s go viral!📲📲📲

God bless you.☺😇

#ExtremeMakeover #Symposium #ThisAugust #ComingSoon

facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmail