Tag Archives: Friendships

Some Lessons Are Learnt The Hard Way; My Story


You’ve got to read this… 😎

At some point in my life, I was chasing a guy I didn’t even realize I was chasing. I was overwhelmed and charmed by his personality. He was my “perfect kind of guy” and a Christian brother. I wanted to have a relationship beyond friendship with him so I did everything for him to notice me like being at places he was going to be etc… He was already my friend but he didn’t give me the kind of attention I wanted him to give me and unknown to him, I felt pained. I would text him, call him and spend long hours on the phone with him. When I had problems with my spiritual life I would take it to him and he helped me get back on track. To me, he posed as the most suitable husband and it made me practically shut my eyes and ears to prospective suitors, It was him or no other. I didn’t care how long it was going to take me. I comforted myself, it’s God’s way of telling me to wait for His appointed time. I fasted. I prayed.
Weeks turned to months, months to years and still, he never popped the question. Eventually he changed towards me by not answering my calls and would reluctantly reply my messages and it was disappointing.
Perhaps, he knew how I felt about him and decided to guard himself by deliberately cutting ties with me. I wasn’t ready to disclose to him how I felt, it would stain my ego. I suffered silently.

I opened up to my mom and she counselled that it would be better I forget about Him, focus on building my career, develop myself and above all, trust God to send me someone in His own timing. Even though I had genuine intentions, I had to learn to trust God’s perfect time.
Thinking about the whole thing all over, I realized that it was God’s way at work in my life. It’s often being said that the best things come to those who wait.
From my story, I learnt that if God gave me what I was praying and fasting for, the guy would have taken God’s place and will practically become an idol in my life. Or the worst case scenario, we would have compromised on our purity and sin against God. God is never late and He assures that we will be victorious when we wait. So to prevent future heartbreaks, it is advisable to cut every tie with him meaning that I desist calling, texting and basically avoid anything that will leave his memories on my mind which I can’t help.

It’s ok to be friends with a brother in the faith but be careful not to translate some of their actions into other things that won’t augur well for your emotions.
Guys, don’t lead the sister on when you know you don’t have any plan of settling down with her. If it requires that you break the friendship with her, please do. You’ll only be saving her from getting disappointed.

Ladies, know your worth. You are to be chased after and not the other way. Make a conscious effort of controlling your emotions. The least thing you want to do is break your own heart when the guy in question is happily enjoying his life. Use this time to become a better woman physically, spiritually and emotionally. I know how hard it can get but the earlier you console yourself and move on, the better.

Today may not make sense but tomorrow will answer yesterday’s pain, discomfort and disappointment.
“Value doesn’t beg, Faith doesn’t worry” – Cornelius Lindsey.

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman.