Tag Archives: Forever

“5 Reasons People Go Back To the Things That Break Them”-In Relationships


Everyone’s wish in every sphere of their lives is that, they will prosper in the ventures they embark on. The same rule applies when we meet someone and develop feelings for them. A normal person will hope that, that platonic relationship will flourish and eventually bloom into something beautiful and forever.

Whereas, some people are simply fortunate, others get tossed in a roller coaster characterized with numerous and unthinkable challenges. Some of the awful things that happen to us (those who get hurt over and over again) are result of the fact that, we allow them to happen to us, knowing or unknowingly.

In love and relationships, the assumption is that, you can’t give up on love because someone hurt you. But as you do, sometimes, you unintentionally give yourself away to be hurt again. Here are five reasons why people go back to the things that break them:

1. We don’t heal completely: When you go through the pain of a failed relationship, it’s often not advisable to jump into another one with hopes of getting better. You need to go through recuperation process (see my post on Recuperation Process).
It may take some long time but you need to go through it. Breakups are not pleasant experiences, you can’t afford keep ending up in there.

2. We become tired of waiting: Like I said in the previous point, recuperation may take a very long time. However, that is no excuse to start another one when you are still nursing bruises from the past. No one likes to wait for whatever but if indeed the saying “the best things come to those who wait” is true then wouldn’t you rather wait?

3. We get shifted in focus: Especially in our walk with God, when we stop getting closer to
God, that is, when we allow little foxes to get into our walk with Him, it ruins the relationship. So bad so that, now we don’t seek His consent in our endeavours and move away from His counsel. Once our relationship with God becomes unsteady, we will keep running into things that will break than repair us. Stay with God!

4. We pretend to be ok when we aren’t: Here’s one major reason why we keep going through pain over and over again. Because we feign our personalities and pretend as though everything is ok when everything is not ok. Because we want to be on the same page as everyone else and be in relationships that are detrimental to our well being. So when a guy shows you a simple gesture of kindness today, you jump into his arms tomorrow flattered that he loves you only to find yourself in ruins all over again. Quit the pretense!

5. Holding on in hopes of getting better: Until you find yourself in that situation, you will think it’s ridiculous for people to stay in relationships that are not pleasurable. But you know, sometimes people just love the idea of being in a relationship for the beauty of it. That among many reasons is why they still remain in them regardless how abusive they are. Or typically, because they wouldn’t like to be lonely or single again, they will choose to stay. What’s the point? Rather be alone than unhappy!

There are so many lessons that failed relationships teach us. If we don’t allow ourselves to be taught by them, we won’t appreciate them. Don’t be ashamed of the scars they leave you with. Scars are a proof that God heals and a reminder that He’s faithful. He will honour at the right time in His acceptable year. Get up, wipe the dust off you and embrace your bright future that’s ahead of you. Remain blessed.

Light and Love,
The Khayil Woman.


Maids That Pray…

The story is told of a to-be bride who died a week before which doubles as her wedding and birthday. All of a sudden she started complaining of an unusual and uncomfortable feeling which eventually got her bedridden.

According to doctors diagnoses, cancer had eaten its way into one of her breasts and it needed to be gotten rid of.
However, anytime the scheduled date was due for the surgery, miraculously, the diagnosed cancer would have vanished. It took 3 different doctors to hit and miss on this issue. Eventually, she gave up the ghost. I bet the pain was unbearable.

Few months later after this lady’s demise, her to be maid of honor marries her late friend’s fiancé and gives birth to 2 children. How’s that??? I’ll spare you the details and leave it to you to make your own conclusions on how this story unfolds.

That brings me to the whole idea of the significance of “maids of honor or bridesmaids ” on your wedding day.
From what I gather and see, the maid of honor and bridesmaids pose as the bride’s eyes and see to the success of the ceremony and her support system respectively before and on the d-day.
They are normally supposed to be a trusted friend or a sister.

Our society places a lot of credence on marriage and so does God so you should count yourself blessed once you find a good man who is ready to walk you down the isle into forever. I believe that family and friends in your circle have a role to play in the success or failure of your marriage especially, once you give them the chance.

Dear to-be bride, know this, not everyone who smiles in your face and poses as your bff wants the best for you. So don’t just go choosing a bridesmaid because you can, let the Holy Spirit guide you every step of the way. Your bridesmaids are the people that surround you on your wedding day and sometimes get involved heavily in your wedding planning that’s if you choose to. In effect, what you choose shapes your support system.

Not all your friends or bridesmaids may be Christians but be sure that these ones wish you the best and pray for you incessantly. It’s the best gift they could ever give you.
So long as you keep your focus on Christ and you have enough spiritual support, I trust you will be fine. We see most people today investing a lot of energy into planning their wedding but little can be said of the real deal.

In a nutshell, the significance of your bridal team should be the kind that throw their weight behind you spiritually and use the opportunity to share the love of Christ in an intimate way. The women you have by your side on your wedding day should be the ones that slay because they pray! All the best!

Light and love,
The Khayil Woman