I read a story of a woman whose story almost broke the internet after she gave birth 40 years post marriage. If she lived in my part of the world, the chastisement, judgement, and name calling would have been enough to make her feel worthless. It took four decades for her to finally own a son she can call hers. I shudder to think about the countless times she cried herself to sleep and the many days on which she felt incomplete among her peers. All those days her faith wavered, yet, she held on somehow have been rewarded.
Recently, my cousin graduated college after six years. If you’re guessing it’s no news because medicine students spend even more years in school, then i’m sorry to burst your bubble. She needed only four years to get hold of that degree certificate she proudly has now. I hadn’t experienced someone get so fulfilled in life until i saw her clad in her graduation gown that day, I felt so proud of her. When she recounted her predicament, you could testify that it hadn’t been easy. Today, she has new song.
My very good friend tells me how he got bounced from the US embassy when he applied for a visa to study abroad. On his way back home he ate Jollof at Linda D’or Restaurant, he swore the food was bad. But that same food, he ate it again, this time after he had gotten the visa and guess what? He really enjoyed it, it was delicious. What was the magic?
I envisioned to finish my first degree at 22, start my career and be on my way to becoming one of the finest communicators, get married and start my own life…
At 25, I have none of that happening. But, I look back and see what I’ve been through. They look like detours but not exactly. I’ve not attained it all but I’m glad that I have the experiences I have gathered along the way.
It tells me that, although I’m not where I want to be yet, I’m definitely not where I wouldn’t have loved to be. I’ve been through good and bad days, I’ve met amazing and bad people. I know you have too. Take a moment and reminisce, see how all those experiences have shaped your perspective and built your character…
There’s hope to be found when life takes you on a detour. Every tear, pain, every feeling of rejection, every sorrow you gathered on your way, they don’t define who you are or what you will be. It’s history. You can choose to stay and wallow in your past if you want to. But here’s your motivation, you aren’t what you used to be and your past is not prophecy of your future. Get rid of the “shoulda, coulda, woulda’s” and position yourself to embrace what the future holds for you. If you’re already continuing in His lead…for the win. Don’t beat yourself because really, Every mile mattered .
Light and Love,
Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman
Ps: The title of this article is inspired by US Singer, Nicole Nordeman’s single, “Every Mile Mattered”. You should listen to it, you’ll be inspired even more.