I still remember when my heart got broken. Yes that was me and girl, trust me when I say broken. I mean how could the guy who professed to love me to the moon and back walk out on me with no reason barely 6 months into the relationship? (I felt my world had crushed, well it did.) He was like an angel from the beginning and the last time I checked angels do not hurt. So how come? How naïve?
Sadly in midday of March, little did I know that all the beautiful times, constant care and attention we shared would one day come to an end. What worsened the matter was that he walked out without an explanation. He left too many questions on my mind I could not find answers to. I mean everything was ok between us. He wasn’t like the other guys who felt abstaining from sex till marriage was primitive.
As a matter of fact, he commended me for upholding my values. He supported my dreams and encouraged me towards attaining my goals. So what the hell had gone wrong with my prince charming? I needed answers yet I couldn’t find any. I couldn’t understand why everything that seemed so perfect all of a sudden would mean nothing at all.
At first I thought it was a joke. But the calls stopped coming and the messages stopped flooding my inbox. It was real. I cried weeks on end, I listened to music I felt was soothing, no hugs were comforting and no words of motivation were motivating enough. All my writings were about him and the bitter experience. I was in the doldrums. Nothing ever hurt so badly like that.
I felt God had forsaken me. I didn’t even think I will be writing this today, no. Not until that conference in May, the Rhema Conference. After the service, I received the call that changed my life. The man of God told me God’s eyes are on me and that I should surrender all to him. That I couldn’t make it on my own. And that, I should no longer fret about what didn’t matter. And that was all the inspiration I needed. My first love got me! Shoop a doop Jackie!
There was a transformation. There was an urgency to draw closer to God. I run back into my heavenly father’s arms for his comfort. I had left him for so long chasing a mortal who could offer me nothing but heartbreak. He was more than ready to receive me once I acknowledged his existence. He knew I was going to be hurt but I guess he wanted me to go through the remnants of a broken heart.
Now I yearned to have a personal relationship with God. I studied the Bible as a priority. I prayed and cried to God for recuperation. He healed me and made me better. I emerged from the heartbreak with a scar which reminds me everyday on thriving towards becoming the phenomenal woman that God made me to be. I have become stronger and wiser by grace of God. Yet again, I have learned to follow God’s wisdom and forgiveness. I learned to have faith in God to lead me to someone in His timing.
Today, I can say confidently that I was broken but God is using my brokenness to build other people who find themselves in the position i was some years ago, which is all that this blog is about.
So thank you for always stopping by to read when there is something new up here, i hope God helps you to put the pieces in your life together so you can have an amazing story to tell and heal the world.
Sometimes, just sometimes, it’s darkest before the dawn!
Light and Love!
Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman