So You Think You Can Change Him?

Whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin.

Whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin.

Many young ladies in church today, for the fear of being lonely or single are ”dating” guys who do not share their values of purity. It’s been said that girls like bad boys and the meaning I derive from this, are boys who go to church alright but have not been saved and think that having sex before marriage is the coolest and latest trend. Purity is like dead news to their ears.

You may have fallen prey to this before where you won’t compromise on your purity yet because you wanted to be flattered by love and receive the affirmation of people like, “hey you know what’s up” or for them not to say you’re “chrife”, you get into a relationship with a boy who goes to church alright, his views on purity and yours are contrasting but you have hopes of changing him to buy into your idea forgetting that only God can change his mind.

To those of us who are not well rooted in the faith, this is a dangerous ground to tread. At the beginning of the relationship, he will assure you he won’t disturb you with sex here and there. You will be blinded by love to feel that hugging, kissing, fondling, fore play etc. are normal because physically, you are not having sexual intercourse and you think, that makes you pure. Hello! Being a virgin and being pure are two different things. Fine, you may be a virgin but your purity has been stained with the doing of all those things. Pray for forgiveness.

Now back to the reason why I’m writing this note. Agreeing to a guy who doesn’t believe your beliefs or shares your values is a deadly decision. He may have said he will change but not all those who go to the hospital are sick and so it is with all the people we see in church go because of Jesus. He may be fine and oh… ojacious too but watch out for wolves in sheep skin. You can’t change him only God can. Step aside and let God work on him without your love interruptions.
If you really love him like you say, simply step aside.

Of course there are those guys who think chastity is old fashioned and no amount of words will ever change their minds. They are not your nut to crack, leave them to God. Someone is cringing and saying that, the real dudes in church don’t look cool and they wear baggies and plenty chains allover in 2016 but the ‘bad guys” are the ones that know what’s up.
Ok! Be reminded, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14  
Dear sister, being single is a phase that every happily married person once went through. If you think it sucks, then I’m sorry but you need it to prepare you for the next stage so it’s essential.
Don’t agree to date a guy with hopes that you can influence him to wait until marriage before sex. (ha! It’s even ridiculous to them)

Focus on you. Delight in doing what pleases God and in His own acceptable time, He will bring you someone who won’t bother you and drag you into sexual sin. If you rush and go ahead of Him confident that you can change this guy in question, you may not get out of the relationship as you went. Plus, whoever you date should help you grow spiritually and not drag you deeper into sin. It’s time to have a self-check! THE END!

Remain blessed. #EM16
I’d love to hear from you. Share your comments with me.

Signed:Jackie Hanson
😍😍

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5 REASONS WHY REJECTION IS GOOD

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No one likes to be rejected. Ughh!!! The word alone stings. Everyone at some point in their lives have experienced rejection in one way or the other. Need I mention how heart breaking the experience is, especially when you put in your heart, works, ideas and it’s thrown in the bin in your face, hmm. It’s never a good thing to experience at least at the time.  

My news editor after journalism school, a few times threw my work in the bin and asked me to go write it all again. It was so disgusting and very mean of him, but anytime I let go of the fury and concentrated and re-wrote the article, it came out better.

Most times, we fail to grasp the positive impact it’s meant to have on us but dwell on the negative. Because every statement of rejection is fashioned to teach us and expose us to greater opportunities. We will miss it if we spend the rest of lives busily licking old wounds and crying over spilt milk. Here are 5 reasons why rejection is good to us as Christians:

*God has the best plans: If you can imprint this on the tablet of your heart, you won’t fret when you are rejected from the job, love interest etc… At that point in time when you pursue that desire, you lose yourself into thinking, that particular project is the best thing that can ever happen to you. But when the unfortunate happens, be reminded that He who created you knows you and has plans that will prosper you and give you an expected end. Chill!  

*It teaches you a lesson on patience and endurance: Once you are rejected, patience as a virtue comes whispering in your ears to wait on God for His acceptable year when you can have the best package He has for you. If you fail to appreciate the lesson of patience and endurance, you will go back and you will be rejected time and time again. It’s out of waiting that our strength is renewed. Take time to heal the wound, trust God and wait on Him. Wait, wait, wait!  

*It’s a challenge for you to become a better person: Consider rejection as an avenue for you to improve and become a better person. Where it requires skills, personal grooming, communication skills etc… let it be an inspiration for you to simply become better! Spend time, prepare and invest into yourself then wait for the next shift in your life. No one or company would reject a good material. Be better than you used to be

*It gives you full proof that God will give you good and better than whatever you lost: Take a moment and reminisce. If you are true to yourself, you’ll realize that every time you thought you had lost something good, your come-back was way greater and bigger. If God did it once, He will do it again. Simply, trust!  

*It helps you to have empathy on others: No experience is wasted. Rejection teaches you to be empathic towards other people. So that next time when you are tried to be mean towards someone, you know what it feels like to go through that kind of suffering. Rejection helps us to be compassionate.  

Joseph was rejected by his brothers and sold into slavery, he went through too many trials yet God used those trials to prepare him to become the prime minister of Egypt. God always has the master plan. Today you may be rejected, but it won’t always be like this. Besides, rejection shouldn’t be labelled as something that killed you. When it hits you, rise up, dust yourself and move on. One day you’ll look back at all the no’s and disappointments you have had in your life and you will be so thankful that you were rejected.  Don’t ever give up!
I’d love to hear from you how rejection has helped you in your lifetime. Kindly share your experiences with me..

Light and Love,
Jackie.

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Jesus At The Center

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For the umpteenth time, I’ve been asked, “What makes a good relationship”? Let me attempt to answer but just so you know I’m not a relationship expert, in fact I am not even in one. Yet thank God for wisdom and grace to address some of these issues as inspired.

Without a shadow of doubt, I know, that a Christ-centered relationship will thrive.
I know you are itching your head and cringing at this and you are saying “it is not possible in this modern day”.
But lean forward and take this, the fear of God in us will compel us to trust and obey.

The fear of God in us alone will restrain us from doing things in our relationships that are not in agreement with God’s word. Should Nii and I make up our minds to pursue God and to walk with Him in our “dating” period, there will be no room for ungodly acts to have a place in our relationship. Just like David, we pray God, that His word will be hidden in our hearts so that we may not sin against Him.

When we become intentional about making Jesus the center of our relationships, it will be difficult for sin to have dominion over us.

It comes from two people who determine in their hearts not to allow the lusts of the flesh have control over their lives.

Two hearts who say Lord, it is not about us and our desires but doing what pleases you and gives you glory is our business.

Two minds who decide that we will not blend into society’s standard of right and modern but all that matters to us is, that your glory is manifested through our lives in our pursuit of purity.

It is because we trust God’s word that He will add all other things unto us if we seek Him first, so we will trust and obey!!

Not that we are not tempted to fall sometimes but the word of God in our hearts constantly reminds us “to put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts”.  Roman 13:14

May the joy of the Lord strengthen us and may the fear of the Lord in us compel us to build our relationships with Jesus at the center and focus! God bless you.

Light and Love,
Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman

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No Strings Attached

Closed doors are but for a reason and God knows why.

Closed doors are but for a reason and God knows why.

Sometimes when I needed something from my mom as a kid, I will go the extra mile in doing anything that pleased her especially with house6 chores. I knew what she expected of me, sometimes I fell short but on days when I needed something from her, oh boy! I made a conscious effort of being the world’s second best daughter to woo her to give me that which I wanted. Now when I get whatever I want… (I believe you have a better version of how this story goes).

This is how we get sometimes in our walk with God. I am trusting God for one blessing. If then, why don’t I get involved in doing the things He loves, get very busy serving and by so doing I may catch His attention and He will grant me the desires of my heart. I’m sorry but it appears most of us find ourselves in church because of the blessings we can get from Him. But God can’t be manipulated by our so called service.  

If our sole idea of sweeping church, ushering, or singing is centered on the blessings we can get from doing it, so that we do not wholly love God for who He is and not what we can get from Him, we miss the mark.

Maybe we should take a minute to check ourselves again. Should God deny me this one thing I earnestly desire, will I still pursue Him? Will I still sing even when I am not given awards on big platforms? Will they find me in church after I have sung in the choir my whole life yet no one wants to marry me?

When we grow in loving God, earthly desires will mean nothing to us anymore. If we genuinely delight ourselves in God, the rest will fall in place.
What is left for us to do now is to nurture our love to increase for God wholly with no strings attached.

Job, by all standards loved God, that even in his brokenness and nothingness he still did not curse God. He loved God and nothing could come between him and his love for God.
Not his children, his spouse, his health, his friends, his possession, his oxen or whatever could separate him from the love of God. His love for God compelled Him to trust Him that regardless the turmoil he was surrounded with on every side, he still won’t give up on God.

God already knows our hearts and what our reason for seeking Him is. He knows what’s best for us and knows the perfect timing when we can have it. He wants us to be true and genuine and not limit our service to Him by what He can give us. It’s a privilege we actually have to be in love with God cus the truth is, He could have chosen anyone else but He chose you to be in love with.

As we grow in our Christian walk, I pray the love of God consumes us and compel us to trust Him to grant our heart desires in His perfect time. I’ll spare you the sermon on why He shuts certain doors in our faces for today but know this, He loves you and knows what’s best for you.  

May God bring us to a place where we can testify like Job, that “though He slay me, yet will I trust Him…”  

We got to learn to love God, nothing beats knowing Him and falling in love with Him. God bless you!

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman  

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Extreme Makeover 2016

Extreme Makeover. Girls Symposium This August Coming Soon

Extreme Makeover. Girls Symposium This August Coming Soon

Like sheep we’ve gone astray,
We were desperate to fall in love with a person that we miss out on falling in love with the one whose love is unconditional and unfailing,

We wanted someone’s love to drown us
We wanted their love to make us feel better about ourselves

We’ve gone every mile for them,
To the extent of giving them our Father’s temple,
They couldn’t even appreciate it
They misused and mishandled us
They left us broken as if beyond repair

Bring your brokeness, I’ll bring mine
Your emptiness, I’ll bring mine
Come as you are, I’ll come just as I am

Let’s go to God, He’s ready to meet us face to face
He’s ready to fill our voids
He knows exactly where to touch to satisfy our hunger

Let’s go with our brokeness
He’s willing to heal our wounds, erase our scars and change our hearts for His dwelling
He will set us on a new journey and we won’t grow weary of walking with Him
He will empower us with strength

You’re not messed up beyond repair
God will make you over
He is the best make up artist ready to give you an Extreme Makeover

#Extreme Makeover #GirlsSymposium #This August #Coming Soon #Tellasister #ComeAsYouAre

Extreme Makeover is powered by The Khayil Woman
www.thekhayilwoman.com

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Extreme Makeover

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Extreme Makeover is a symposium for the youth designed to ignite and stir up the mindset of God in young people for them to embrace and cling to who God says they are and not necessarily lower their standards to fit in the moulds of other people.
Simply, God values His children and we therefore donot need the affirmation of people to be all that we can ever be.

Why Should I Come❓🤔

✔Our seasoned speakers Rev Georgina Happy Crentsil aka Mama Happy, (Vice President of Doxa Ministries), Mrs Joesphine Ami-Narh (Head of Human Resource, Bank of Ghana), Ms Dela Mawutor (Founder of The Deborah Generation, UK) and Ms Ama Darkwah (Founder of Candid Acts Foundation,USA). They will speak on topics that will leave you totally inspired, motivated and empowered to be the phenomenal woman God created you be.

✔If you have a thirst/hunger for the presence of God to consume you, Extreme Makeover is the place to be in August.

✔An avenue where you can renew your vows to God to pursue Him in purity.

✔More….. at Extreme Makeover.

Extreme Makeover is powered by The Khayil Woman mov’t.

Watch this space for further detail.
Remain blessed.

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Self Check

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God has someone special for you. The best thing is to wait for His appointed time to lead you to that special someone in His own timing.

If you discover how much worth you are to God, you don’t lower your standards to allowing any man at all have his way with you for NO REASON at all.

It is not ego, it is knowing who you are in God and living the life which is worthy of the price at which you were bought.

You are not any material that anyone can have, misuse and dump for the next item on their bill. Your worth is far more than rubies. That’s the reality, live it!

Do i have any witnesses? Let’s go viral!📲📲📲

God bless you.☺😇

#ExtremeMakeover #Symposium #ThisAugust #ComingSoon

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Faith Over Desperation

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I gave my valued fabric to a tailor to fix for me. I got there on the day he promised me to pick them up and to my utter dismay he had messed them up completely. He manhandled them and didn’t do them the way I wanted. It was totally beyond repair and I got so angry at him, as if he cared… I paid for the mess.  
But why did I give them to him? I got  desperate waiting for my seamstress who never seemed to be on time though she had promised. Now I’m sitting here with no dress to wear to the event and oh my dear fabric is destroyed beyond alteration. If I had being still and waited patiently for my seamstress to come, I won’t be sitting here disappointed and bitter like a lost chicken. You know that feeling when a tailor messes you up?

So you promised God to honour Him with your body and soul in purity. You think you are growing, your mates are marrying and you don‘t even have a boyfriend. You are desperate and questioning God and praying and crying but God seems silent as though He hasn’t heard or seen what’s going on.  
You get tired of waiting and give up. You meet this guy, he have his way with you and leaves you broken without a ring. What now?

This is how we become when waiting on God. When we wait on God for quite a long time and we don’t see its fruits, it’s normal we get desperate along the way. But God is not moved by desperation. He’s moved by faith.

Sometimes in desperation we make deadly decisions only for us to learn a lesson of trusting in Him. Sometimes God keeps silent in our desperation to teach us to trust in Him because they that trust in the Lord, shall renew their strength, they shall run and not get weary and they shall walk and not faint”

God is saying, next time when I ask you to wait you learn to trust and wait. God denies us some things because what may seem good to us, in the end, won’t be good for us. Let’s learn to thank God for closed doors, anyway.
If you have decided to honour God and flee sexual immorality, chill and go through the process. No one promised the journey will be smooth and getting desperate sometimes is one of the few challenges you would face but if you are able to hold on to faith in God, your end will be glorious.

In waiting our strength is renewed, our faith is nurtured, God takes us through the heat of refining and making process but the heat doesn’t burn us. Instead, they produce us much better and beautiful.

You have come too far to give in to someone who doesn’t even know his left from right to manhandle and leave you broken and helpless. If you get desperate, tired of waiting and fall into the hands of someone God didn’t intend you to be with, don’t trust Him to keep it together. It will fall on the rocks!

Look back on how far you’ve come on pursuing purity, focus on the prize and continue honouring God. It may not seem tangible noe but God saves the best for those who trust and obey. The weeping, loneliness may endure for the night but joy shall come in the morning. Hang in there! Hold onto faith! Your best is yet to come! Just believe…!

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman

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What Kind Of Music Do You Feed On?

Photo Credit: Godlydating101

Photo Credit: Godlydating101

Before I got saved, I loved listening to those songs we call “love songs”. They had a way of making me fall asleep daydreaming of a fairytale love. The kind of love those songs preach aren’t the one that says love is patient, kind, not boastful etc
Love in those songs most times are centered on sex, fornication, lust, adultery et al. They are the complete opposites of what the gospel preaches about love. This boy I thought we were both in love walked out of the relationship one day and left me broken. I resorted to listening to our magical love songs hoping the pain will be nursed. It didn’t but rather aggravated the pain anytime I listened to them. It made me cry and cry yet my lover boy never returned. My healing process begun when I started listening to soul uplifting songs like “What Scars are for – Mandisa”, “In Christ Alone –Newsboys”,” He’s Able – Deittrick Haddon” et al…I realized that anytime I listened to these songs I felt refreshed and hopeful of true and unconditional love and not the kind that those ‘love songs’ preach. What I did with those ones, hmm, your guess is as good as mine.

If you wake up in the morning and the first thing you listen to are songs that promote sex, lust, fornication don’t be surprised when you feel like masturbating to satisfy your desires or chase  everything in skirt or flirt with men. In the same vein when you wake up and meditate on the scriptures, singing Holy Spirit filled songs , you will desire to continually dwell in the presence of God and oh, if you ask me, I bet it’s the best thing that can ever happen to you.  You are what you listen to.

Some of you try to justify why you listen to those songs yet we say we are Christians and say” no one is perfect”. But I say to you, in our imperfection, let’s try to be Christ like.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Signed: Jackie Hanson

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Greatest Gift

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All those times I spent partaking in almost all the programs acting like the most spiritual person on earth were moments of my life I lived to please my mother. Yes because, I can never recall a time when I wouldn’t go to church and be home for no reason. I dared not miss or even be late for Sunday school. She will yell at me and give me a beating of a lifetime. She was a staunch Christian and a single mother who tried to inculcate in my little brother and I the fear of God. Yet, it always beat her mind why I would win the memory verse recitals competition and come back home that same day and tell a lie and commit other sins. What she didn’t know was that, the messages fell on deaf ears and the joy of going to Sunday school was to catch up with my friends.

I later grow up to realize that, all she did for me at that time was trying to give me a citadel of hope to rely on someday when she isn’t around.The best possession she could leave for me was to accept the hand of friendship Jesus Christ extends. Today is exactly nine (9) years after her demise and I now fathom that all the beatings were worth.

Now I understand what it means when people cry their hearts out and roll on the floor during worship. I understand when someone expresses how bad he/she desires to know the Lord and can’t have enough of Him. I get it when someone says they have been baptized by the Holy Spirit and are inspired by Him to will and do His will. I so much understand when someone says they are pursuing holiness and won’t make anything come between that. I get it when they say they got their eyes fixed on an eternal reward in Heaven. I relate to it perfectly. I admit i was only a church goer at the time but today, i can confidently say that I’ve been saved by grace and the logs from my eyes have been removed.

So you! You might have a similar story, better or worse. There’s still the opportunity to get to know Jesus Christ and build a personal relationship with Him. Not all the people who are in church all the time profess the faith. Just like everyone you see at the market goes to buy or sell. Nothing compares to knowing Him and possibly feeling Him so close like the garment we wear.

I wish I could have another phase of getting trained up again by her and to appreciate her better. I couldn’t have had a better mom. Everyone is proud of their mama for different reasons. I am proud of my mama for leading me to Christ and she deserves a standing ovation!

Mother, if you aren’t leading your baby to Christ, see Proverbs 22:6 “Train up the child the way he should go and when he grows he shall not depart from it”.

Ps: If your mother is still alive, savour every moment.

Why are you proud of your mama?

Signed: Jackie Hanson
The Khayil Woman

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